Am I a funny girl?

Movin on Up!

2011-10-01T17:33:00.000-07:00

I am no longer blogging at this address, and I have relocated exclusively to www.AmIaFunnyGirl.com!

Please update your bookmarks accordingly!

Thanks, and I'm super excited about taking my blog to this next exciting level!

Thursday #181

2011-09-30T21:37:00.000-07:00

Max making sense of my Wordpress reference book...

And with his future prom date, Brookie!
This is a special crossover Thursday pic, since Brooke's mom and dad have also done a weekly photo since she was born, inspired by Max and mine!

Thursday #180

2011-09-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

Excuse the crappy red-eye reduction. I wanted to get this posted before I got in trouble with Bubba and Nana! :)

The One with All the Best Lines

2011-09-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

Seventeen years ago today, Monica, Ross, Chandler, Joey, Rachel and Phoebe entered our lives and changed it forever.

It was the beginning of my senior year in high school, and F•R•I•E•N•D•S (I'll only write it out with the dots this once. Promise) premiered, captivating us for

a decade, inspiring hairstyles (Admit it. You totally had The Rachel at some point!) and bucket list items (I can't be the only one who has wanted to romp in that fountain!), resurrected the popularity of the name Emma, and I'm pretty sure they're responsible for the whole "furniture placed in random locations as photo prop" phenomenon.

Since it's been in syndication, I've seen most episodes a dozen times or more, but there is still the occasional one where I don't remember it or never saw it, and it's like finding one last caramel in the box of chocolates when you thought all that was left was nougat. (Blech)

FRIENDS is exactly half my age. I was 17 when it started, I'm 34 now. (Cue sentimental music) If it was a person, it would be graduating high school this year. Looking back now, watching them each turn 30, I can't believe I'm now older than they ever were... like Will & Grace, they'll always be "grown-ups" in my mind, even as I out-age and out-wrinkle their video-preserved selves.

I still use FRIENDS terminology on a daily basis...

How YOU doin'?
Could I BE any ________?
You don't go commando in another man's pants (OK, I don't really use this one daily"
I'm "sorry" with Joey's misplaced air quotes
Smelly cat
You're my lobster
I'm just the oven, totally their bun
We were on a break!

Now watch this and I DARE you not to clap on cue! *clapclapclapclap

So tell me... what are YOUR favorite FRIENDS moments?

Where I'm From

2011-09-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am from roller skates, from Pop Rocks and Madame Alexander dolls.

I am from the small town turned city, new roads and schools.

I am from the devil mountain, the oak trees and wildflowers.

I am from roast beef on Christmas and Rhode Island accents, from Moffats and Whalens and Parsons.

I am from the procrastinators and the list-makers.

From poof you're an egg and book, tree, sky, man, flower.

I am from baptism, confirmation, summer camps and community. From gathering together and singing hymns. And rock music. From accepting and loving all who search for a place to worship.

I’m from California and England, and Scotland and Ireland. From Grammy Faith's mustard sauce and perfectly flipped fried eggs.

From the Strawberry Festival where I ate frozen yogurt in the snow, from practicing how to work the clutch in the church parking lot with my dad.

I am from piles of albums, notes scribbled in the margins. From scrapbooks of stickers and handwritten stories. From boxes of well-intentioned, but poorly organized photos. Collage frames of snapshots, of all generations, and the countless new memories still to be made.

I am from having and not, from gaining and losing.

From happy and sad, from laughter and tears.

I am from yesterday, and looking to tomorrow.

Thursday #179

2011-09-16T21:58:00.001-07:00

__________________

2011-09-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

There are no words.

None.

Not enough to express the gratitude.

Because one year ago today, I was given the most amazing gift.

The gift of life. Again.

My brother-in-law, Tim, underwent a surgery he totally didn't need and gave me a kidney.

He gave me my life back.

Gave Jamie his wife back, and Max his mommy back.

For 365 days, I haven't had to spend my sleepless nights tethered to a machine to keep me alive.

For 52 weeks, I haven't had to keep track of high or low sodium, phosphorus or protein foods.

For 1 year, I have been back to normal*
*Definition of normal is open to interpretation

I've tried to explain the level of gratitude I feel to others, but am not sure that I can ever adequately express it. Perhaps an adoptive mom getting to thank a birth mother? How about hugging the hero who pulls you out of a burning building? The doctors who saved Max's life in the NICU came close, but even then, it's what they do, it's their calling. Tim is a FedEx guy. I'm pretty sure thay "general anesthesia, getting sliced open and your insides removed, followed by weeks of painful recovery" aren't in his usual job description.

My own mind can't grasp the gratitude I feel, so it's hard for me to explain it to others.

I try, and then I end up like this. Trying and failing. I can't even quantify the difference his gift has made. I know it's the same analogy I always use, but it's the best way to explain it. You know that Claratin commerical? It's all foggy and desaturated at the beginning, but you don't really notice it until they peel off the haze and the colors come back to normal.

What was my life on dialysis. I just got used to functioning at about 85%... even my best days, I'd feel fine, but fine still wasn't 100%. Now that I'm back, and able to take care of myself and my family to my fullest, my life is better, in every way.

So thank you, Tim, for giving so literally of yourself.
And Lori, Danielle and Marissa, for supporting your husband and daddy as he went through this for me.

There's a special place in heaven for people like you, and I love you always.

For Scot

2011-09-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

I have this friend, Amy. I actually kind of hesitate to call her a friend, because we've only been Facebook friends for a couple of weeks, but we've been at the same parties for years now, and I totally bragged last year that my "Happy Birthday" serenade/jam session included a musical saw, and she was the one playing it!

We finally got a chance to chat at a party last month, and we came around to the topic of organ donation. I don't remember how we got to it, but we did, and how we got there isn't what matters anyway.

Amy shared the story of her brother, Scot. He died unexpectedly a number of years ago, and her mom, Evelyn, had made the decision to donate his organs. As I thanked Amy for her family's gift, as I always do, she continued the story. Her mother had never gotten an update or thank you letter from any of the recipients. Any of them.

Today, on the eve of my own transplant anniversary, I'd like to write the thank you note that Evelyn never received, on behalf of the recipients. I don't doubt their thankfulness, and I'll continue to hope that the heartfelt notes sent to her were just lost in a filing cabinet somewhere, but in the meantime, this is all I can do. Evelyn is, unfortunately, no longer with us, but I at least want Amy to know just a bit of the gratitude that exists, thanks to this amazing gift.

Dear Evelyn,
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
From the bottom of my kidney, thank you.
From my pancreas to my lungs, to my corneas to my liver, thank you.

I am so sorry that your beloved Scot was taken from you, but please know the lives you have saved in the process.

His first kidney has allowed me to no longer need dialysis; my blood pressure is stable, I have the energy someone in the prime of their life should have. I am able to enjoy the things I couldn't before, whether it's staying up late, traveling around the world, or having a baby. These are all things I would not have been able to do before my transplant. I live.

His other kidney, along with his pancreas, has also gotten me off dialysis, which I relied on to live. I woke up from surgery no longer insulin-dependent; after many years as a diabetic, with the daily injections and blood tests, I am no longer diabetic, and that is thanks to you and Scot.

His liver has restored my muscles to their healthy tone; before transplant, I could barely move without pain; the build-up of toxins in my muscles made every movement torture. Since Scot's gift, I am able to run and take spinning classes. I live.

His lungs have given me breath once again. When I could not get out of bed without the aid of a nurse and an oxygen tank, I'm now able to talk my dog on walks. I've rediscovered the outdoors I've always loved, and spend as much time as I can, exploring them. I live.

His heart beats inside my chest. Speeds up when the love of my life walks in the room and squeezes my hand just so, beats slow and steady when I move into my favorite yoga poses, feeling life in every cell of my being. I know that in this heart resides the love he had for you, as well. I live.

So thank you, Evelyn, from all of us.
You have given us life, and the memory of Scot will live with us always.
Thank you.

I know that this isn't enough, truly. It's never enough. Oprah's and Bill Gates' and Rupert Murdoch's billions couldn't be enough. It's simply never enough.

So thank you.

I'd like to thank a few Twitter friends for helping me with this post;
Kidneys and Eyes
Rock Scar Love
Just Jules

I also heard about this awesome iPad app, which was created to mark National Donate Life Month (April) and shares daily stories of how organ donation has saved lives: The Daily Gift

More than 100,000 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.
Every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.
An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.
In 2009, there were 8,021 deceased organ donors and 6,610 living organ donors resulting in 28,465 organ transplants.
According to research, 98% of all adults have heard about organ donation and 86% have heard of tissue donation.
90% of Americans say they support donation, but only 30% know the essential steps to take to be a donor.
As of March, 2011, there were 110,541 Patients Waiting, 1,785 Pediatric Patients
28,663 Organ Transplants Performed in 2010 with 14,502 Organ Donors in 2010
I was one of them.

Are you a donor? The pink dot on your license isn't enough. You need to talk to your family. Let them know your wishes. You can also register online at DonateLife.net to make your wishes known. YOU can save lives.

Bounce House of Horror

2011-09-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

It started out like a normal enough day... Labor Day weekend, and a barbecue birthday party for my nieces, who celebrate their birthdays only 2 weeks apart, with Josie turning 2 on Aug. 25, and Faith turning 5 on Sept. 12 (and Lydia being born on Aug. 25 as well!)

There were many children, and a kiddie pool, and a new climbing structure and cake...

And a bounce house.

That became the bounce house of horror. *cue evil cackling*

The kiddos are all having an awesome time bouncing, and before too long, the choruses of "Auntie Lizz! Come bounce with us!" have started. (Even Max calls me that when he's with his cousins)

Even kids that I've just met that day can tell that I'm the fun one of the bunch, apparently.

Same way dogs can smell fear.

So anyway, I climb into the bounce house and we're all bouncing happily away. The kid find it hilarious that a grown up is in there (making an ass of herself) and I'll admit it, it's pretty fun.

As it so often seems to do, it ends up with me on my stomach and the kids piling on top of me. Yay! Super fun, right? All is fine when we're in the middle of the bounce house, this 9 or so kids and me.

I manage to get up and shed the short people holding on to my limbs.

Panting and tired (I'm too old for this!) I crawl over to a corner and lean against the inflateable column at the corner of the bounce house.

And they dogpile on me again.

And then it gets hairy.

So here I am, with all of these preschool/early elementary school aged kids piled on top of me in the corner of the bounce house. Each stick-kid represents 3 actual kids. I'm the one with the hair and the feet.

I didn't realize it, but I'd chosen the corner of the bounce house where the generator and fan resided; as the kids piled on, my butt managed to cover the vent for the fan that was keeping the bounce house upright.

Before I knew it, I was upside down, resting on the back of my head, feet in the air, kids piled on me, with no way to get up.

My view:

I had a thought: "I have no way to get these kids off me, and no way to help myself up. I am TOTALLY stuck like this! OMG, the bounce house is collapsing and we're TRAPPED inside!"

It's times like this where my cop brother-in-law and his paramedic buddy come in handy! They got the kids out (and off me!) and to safety.

I was now upside down and not sure how I was going to myself out. And then my handsome knight in shining armor appeared!

Jamie found a rescue hatch in the ceiling of the house, and was able to help me out!

Once I was up and off the fan, the bounce house reinflated in moments, but holy crap, it was a scary couple of moments there! LOL

Never Forget

2011-09-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

In memory.

I hadn't planned to write a post for this terrible anniversary, but I can't let it pass by unacknowledged either. Ten years since the world changed. My Max has never known different. While I don't still cringe every time a plane flies overhead at what feels like an odd angle, things that have forever changed.

We used to greet our loved ones right at the airplane's gate. Angry gunmen were misunderstood loners, not potential splinter cells. A "Terror Alert" was something on a haunted house, not the news.

Max has never seen a world where the US felt largely untouched by terror.

I didn't personally lose anyone on that horrible day, but in 2006, I took part in something called the 2,996 Project, which set out to have each and every victim memorialized online. I was assigned a young man named Mohammad Salman Hamdani, and I invite you to remember him for just a moment, and learn something about him in my original post, found here.

In the meantime, I keep the victims, their families, and all of us, in my prayers.
A prayer for understanding, a prayer for tolerance, a prayer for peace.

Am I Blue?

2011-09-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

You might think this is a simple enough question, but really, it's anything but.

Am I blue?

Well, my hair is. I joined my friend Cristi, from Motherhood Unadorned, in pledging to dye my hair blue for suicide prevention. Cristi is participating in a fundraising walk, and she said that if she reached her fundraising goal of $1500, she'd dye her hair blue. Well, it ended up being several of us offering to join her, and here I am, a member of the Blue Crew, the Band of Smurfs, #bluebloggers... whatever you want to call us.

But that's not all.

I am the face of depression.

I have *always* tried to put up a brave front. To "handle it," to do my best to take care of the people around me as a priority.

And I paid the price. It took until this summer for me to realize that what I was feeling and thinking wasn't "normal" and that I needed some help. Thankful for my health insurance, they had me talking to a psychologist within a week, and a psychiatrist soon after that.

If you had asked me six months ago, I would have said "I understand that there's a stigma around mental illness, but it isn't something I'd have to deal with. I love my friends and family regardless, and no diagnosis is going to change that."

And then I got prescribed medication to help me manage my depression, and I struggled.

I spent so much time thinking, writing and deleting, talking to friends. Should I or shouldn't I share this? I didn't want to drag my lighthearted lifestyle blog down into the heaviness of depression and suicidal thoughts. I didn't want to open this much of myself here.

And yet, here I am.

Already, there is a very real, completely palpable change in my daily mood. I thank the meds for bringing me back to center, for making this possible. And smaller things; I have the energy and motivation that was gone for so long... laundry goes (less ;-)) ignored. I've purged almost a dozen trash bags of junk from our home. I've lost ten of the thirty-ish pounds I've gained since transplant. It has had a positive impact on all aspects of my life.

So please. It's not OK to think about hurting yourself. Or others. Your family is NOT better off without you. There is an amazing world outside, and there are tools available to help if you aren't seeing it. Please. Ask for help. A doctor, a priest, a good friend, your spouse. These are people who are there for you, and who care about your well-being.

DO NOT suffer in silence. I did just that for too long, and am so grateful to those who encouraged me to step forward.

Some Resources:
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK
Band Back Together

Thursday #178

2011-09-08T18:13:00.001-07:00

Coming to terms

2011-09-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to terms with a part of myself, and I think it's time to share with you and ask you for support as I work through this difficult time.

You see, I fear I have an inner hipster.

I'm not sure how this happened, exactly, but I woke up recently and realized with shock that I enjoy and/or have encouraged some very hipster-like behavior in my daily life.

Exhibit A: I actually really think the hot pink Wayfarer-style sunglasses I got from Shutterfly are cute. (Blogher swag) They're fun in a kitschy sort of way, and isn't that what hipster-ocity is all about?

Exhibit B: If I was planning my wedding today, I'd totally have a photo booth complete with handlebar mustaches on sticks.


Sunglasses, 'stache, complicated haircut

Exhibit C: My husband has a home-built single speed bike (which I happen to LOVE riding) and it can easily be converted to a fixie. Adding to that, when he was buying a new chain for it, I totally approved of the red and black one he chose to match the frame.

Exhibit D: Florence and the Machine.

Exhibit E: When we're camping, we drink cheap beer in cans. Specifically, the beer of choice is PBR. At home, it's microbrews and Guinness, but camping is PBR (And Natural Ice, to switch it up)

Exhibit F: When my hair is in need of a trim, it starts to get that overly-complex-hipster-haircut-with-random-varying-lengths look, and I'm OK enough with it that it buys me another week or so before I call my stylist.

Exhibit G: If I was going to take up a new musical instrument, it would totally be either the banjo or the theramin. Banjo for its ironic unhipness, theramin because it's so cool you've probably never heard of it.

Exhibit H: I don't have an exhibit H, except that hipster starts with it.

So. Is there hope for me, or am I destined to start wearing Delta Burke inspired shoulder pads and old-school Keds? Do you have some anti-hispter remedy I can try? I'm a desperate woman!

I'm joining Elaine over at The Miss Elaine-ous Life for her Miss Elaine-ous Monday! Click here to see more random posts people have linked up!

Coming around to Happy

2011-09-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

When my oldest niece, Faith, was born in 2006, there was nothing but joy. I was present for the labor and delivery, and was enthralled the moment she made her entrance into this world.

Up until that point, loving her was the closest I'd come to knowing how much a mother can love someone they've just met. My only sister's baby girl, related to me by blood.


Faith, just moments old. Sept. 06

I visited a couple of days a week for those early weeks, giving my sister a much-needed break, just admiring her as she grew. Smothered her with hugs and kisses as much as I could, and just loved her as best as I could.

And then Max was born, and I really did learn what it's like to love as a mother. To love so much it hurts sometimes.

Christmas, 2008, before Max's first birthday, Katie excitedly announced she was pregnant again! Due just weeks before Faith's third birthday, I was happy but also struggled with jealousy. Katie was growing the family she had always wanted, and I was still coming to terms that I'd never get another chance to have a baby.

I'd like to think I kept a strong facade during her second pregnancy, but I'm not entirely sure I did... watching her belly grow, taking photos of her at about 35 weeks, almost 2 months past the furthest I'd gotten. I struggled constantly, but tried not to let it show.

When Katie invited me to be present at the birth again, I was happy. At first. I'd be part of an entourage of doula, photographer, future godmother, Katie and Jason AND medical staff. I could deal, right?

I couldn't have been more wrong. Sitting in that delivery room, just doors down from where I'd been monitored before Max's birth, it took every ounce of my willpower not to run screaming from the room. I found myself crumpled to the floor, concentrating on my breathing, while my second niece, Josie, was born.

Lost in the chaos after her birth, I left without even holding her, saving my tears for the sanctuary of my car in the parking lot. Looking back through my blog archives, I never even shared her birth on here... that's the kind of headspace I was in.

And then Jan. 2, 2011. Our family is celebrating Christmas together, and I give Katie a bottle of wine as a gift. "Oh, great!" she says. "This will come in handy IN SEPTEMBER!" Stunned looks around the room, and she confirms moments later. She's pregnant again, due right around Josie's 2nd birthday in August.

A few weeks later, I sent her an email letting her know where I was emotionally; about the difficulties I'd had being at Josie's birth, and that I needed some time to come to terms with her having another baby. I promised that I'd "come around to happy," but that in the meantime, I needed space.

I then proceeded to spend the remainder of her pregnancy, about 34 weeks, avoiding her. Avoiding contact as much as I could. Seeing her belly grow, all the talk of baby names and Team Green, I wasn't ready for those conversations. So I stayed away.

And then a phone call.

Katie thought maybe she was in labor, and did I want to be present at the birth? I said yes, and that I'd bring my camera. Because I'd been present at the other two, I didn't want the new baby (called OMeGa in utero) to feel less important if his/hers was the only one I missed. I figured that, worst case, I could hide behind my camera and focus on taking great pictures, instead of paying attention to what was actually happening in front of me.

And you know what? I did it. I was there, I was present in the moment, and I cried. But in a good way.

Lydia May, born Aug. 25, 2011

Thursday #177

2011-09-01T20:52:00.001-07:00

It's All About the Shoes

2011-08-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Crocs for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about Crocs’ new Back to School line. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.

I'm a shoe addict.
It's true.
I love them.
Athletic and fancy, heels and flats, slip on and lace-up. Shoes make me happy.

When I was a kid, and my mom took me back to school shopping, I always had the strongest opinion on my shoes, and as long as my picks were within her guidelines, she generally allowed me free reign. Her guidelines were simple: Closed toe, closed/covered heel, a rubber sole for PE. Looking back, I'm sure these were as much the school's rules as her own, but if it works, right?

Three specific sets of school shoes stand out in my memory.

In fifth grade, which was the 88-89 school year, I even got TWO pair! Converse high tops in hot pink and turquoise. In true late-eighties fashion, I rocked one of each color, along with two pairs of socks, layered and scrunched *just so* to get a truly multi colored, pseudo-eclectic, Punky Brewster inspired look.

My sophomore year in high school, I was deep in my alternative slash hippie phase, and got my parents to spring for a pair of black mary jane style Doc Martens. They went perfectly with my favorite empire waisted, plaid flannel dress and numerous earrings, and I adored them. (Confession: I wish I still had them.)

By the time my junior year rolled around, I was working part-time and had the money to buy what I wanted, closed toe be darned. I'd gone more hippie than alternative (Plus: They were pretty trendy) and I got a pair of Birkenstocks. They were the most expensive shoes I'd owned up to that point, and about three days after I got them, I left them out in front of our house, to be (theoretically) stolen by the neighbor boy. Sigh.

So my Birks were gone, but my love of super-comfy shoes was not! That's why the new Crocs Back to School line is so exciting to me, since I now live vicariously through Max's shoe buying! I understand the rules of School Shoes now, but to have them available with Crocs famous comfort, hidden in a super-adorable upper? That, my friends, is School Shoe BLISS!

Because really, how adorable are these slip-ons? Eeek! I just might have to get these ones for Max! If he doesn't approve? There are 13 styles to choose from, for both boys and girls!

This cute little video, shown below, will show you more of the styles. It's also interactive, so click on any of the Crocs you see, and you'll be taken straight to the Crocs site to learn more about them! (As an added bonus, Max has asked me half a dozen times now to watch this video! It really is that cute!) Once you've done that, click here and be entered to win a family vacation to San Diego, with no purchase necessary!

And last, but SO not least, there's a hidden Easter Egg in the video... click on it and see what happens!

Need a clue? Here's one:

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

Thanks so much to Crocs for letting me take a look at these adorable new additions to the Crocs family! I definitely see some in my Max's future!

A New Eraser

2011-08-29T20:19:00.000-07:00

I've always been a lover of words, of writing. Story books in elementary school, creative fiction in junior high. My favorite part of back to school shopping wasn't the clothes or the backpack.

It was the supplies.

Still true to this day.

Especially, erasers.

A beautiful new eraser, especially a Pink Pearl.
No mistakes made.
No corners darkened with pencil smudges.
Everything even and beautiful.

What wonderful stories would I refine, thanks to that eraser?
What words would I misspell and fix, never to forget?
(For the record, my word is awry)
What doodles would decorate the margins of a quiz, quickly scrubbed away before the bell?

New erasers make me happy.

My oldest niece, Faith, starts kindergarten tomorrow. I remember her birth like it was yesterday, and she was the closest thing I'd known to how much a mother loves, until Max was born. She is and always will be special to me.

Wandering the aisles at Target this morning, I wanted to get her a little something. A card and a little gift to send her off on this exciting new adventure. I examined the school supply aisle, reviewing Dora and Hello Kitty and Disney Princess and Barbie. Binders and coloring books and backpacks and pencils.

About to give up, I spotted them. A three-pack of Pink Pearls.

I taped one to the outside of an envelope, and in it I put a card. I meant to make a copy of the note so I could post it, but forgot, so this is paraphrased:

Dear Faith,
Have a great first day at kindergarten! I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you.
I'm giving you an eraser because new erasers were one of my favorite things when I was in school.
It's important in school, not to be afraid to make mistakes, because that's what learning is all about.
This eraser will help you learn by letting you try again if you're wrong the first time.
Sometimes, being wrong the first time is the most important part.
So have a wonderful day, Faithie! I can't wait to hear all about it!
Always and forever,
Auntie Lizz
PS: Uncle Jamie and Max love you lots too! :)

I actually think I might make this an annual back-to-school tradition for all 3 nieces and Max. Just a little note to let them know how much I love them as we send them onward and upward in the world. A bit of advice for the coming year.

Do you have any back to school traditions for the kiddos in your life? I'd love to hear all about them!

Thursday #176

2011-08-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Watching Giants baseball is serious business!

The Tower

2011-08-25T21:09:00.000-07:00

The prompt: This week’s assignment will require the fewest number of words ever: we want you to write a story – your choice of topic – as a tweet. (140 characters total)

She came around the corner and into the sunlight.
It stood before her, finally, in all its splendor.
Gasping, she let the tears fall freely.

Bacon. And more bacon.

2011-08-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Reasons Bacon is Awesome

1. It's delicious, duh. Crispy and salty and dissolve in your mouth-y. And loaded with lots of delicious fat and nitrates! The best part of the pig!

2. It's versatile! Can you say Baconaisse? (Tried it, didn't love it. Just so you know.) Or Bacon Salt? (Currently resides in my spice cabinet) How about Bacon Jam? (I actually saw this at Costco recently) Bacon vodka? (See photo below)

3. It's structurally sound! Assuming it's been fried to the proper crispy consistency, the strips of goodness are perfect to create a breakfast dam to prevent your pancake/waffle/french toast's maple syrupy sweetness from contaminating your savory and delicious scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese melted on top. They're the perfect tool, because the maple syrup only enhances the amazingness of the bacon itself.

4. It's an entree and side dish in one! I once tweeted the following: "Making BLTs for dinner. What side dish to go with?" and got no less than SEVEN replies of "More bacon!" Can you think of another food where this applies? Hmmm... we're having burgers for dinner... what should we have on the side? I know! Another burger! It just. Doesn't. Happen.

5. Adding bacon to things makes them funnier. Much like bare butts and "That's what she said," bacon makes things funny. Exhibit A: Sex, Lies and Bacon If it were just called "Sex and Lies" it could be a super-depressing expose about a lonely woman who discovered her beloved husband's infidelities with his secretary/office manager/golf partner. By adding the word Bacon, Mely makes her blog into something entirely different, and most importantly, really freaking funny.

6. It's a decorative design element and textile pattern.

7. It's a counterculture movement. All I have to say is this: Bacon Camp 2011 (Gawd, I love San Francisco!)

8. Even its waste products are delicious! Bacon grease has been used since approximately March of 28 BC to flavor food. Someone on Twitter suggested using it to make popcorn the other night! POPCORN, people! How amazing does that sound? I think I'm going to ask Jamie to make me some bacon right this minute so we can make popcorn with the drippings. I knew I'd been holding on to my old kettle popcorn popper for a special occasion!

9. Its smell wields incredible power. It can lure a teenager out of bed early on a weekend, lead people across vast deserts in search of the source, noses raised daintily in the air. And incredibly, it still smells delicious in the house after a whole day! If you make curry or fish or onions, it smells good while cooking, but once dinner's over, you just want the stink to go away, right? With bacon, you have it for breakfast and when you get home from your day's activities, you walk in, breathe in deep and sigh, "Mmmm.... it smells like bacon in here! Now I want bacon!" It's kind of an endless loop, really.

10. It can convert vegetarians. We have a friend, who shall remain nameless, who has been veggie for a good number of years. Until it comes to bacon. He'll eat a pound of it in a sitting, and then he'll fry up some bread in the grease, to make some bacon-infused toast (or something)

It's got some serious powers, that bacon. And now, I have to go eat some.

Vlogtalk + Summer Smashed

2011-08-22T16:47:00.000-07:00

If you don't wanna watch the video: I made a strawberry vodka infusion and then mixed it with sparkling mineral water for a refreshing summer cocktail! Want to make the vodka? Here's the link I originally found on Pinterest that led me to my new obsession with vodka infusions.

Now. If a group of my favorite bloggers came to town and I got to head up a GNO? So many choices! If we had a whole weekend, we'd head up to Wine Country for some chauferred wine tasting... just an evening? A gorgeous walk around North Beach in San Francisco, with dinner at Steps of Rome, where we'll drink chianti and flirt with the cute waiters. After that, depending on who is performing, we could take in a comedy show at Cobb's or maybe head to Bimbo's for some dancing and drinks... I love San Francisco, so I could easily plan a lifetime's worth of GNOs for my lady blogging friends!

I'm linking up with Jessica at My Time as Mom and Carri at Mommy's Little Monster for their Summer Smashed link-up, AND with this week's #VlogTalk!

Going Blue for Suicide Prevention

2011-08-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm one of the lucky ones.

In my conscious memory, I have not lost anyone I love to suicide.
People that I love, have lost people they love, but I personally am lucky.

Because I'd like to keep it that way for myself and countless others, I'm going blue.

One of the most incredible women I met at BlogHer was Cristi, voice of Motherhood Unadorned and a passionate mental health advocate. I had some heartfelt conversations with Christi over our couple of days, and she will be someone I consider a friend for the rest of my life.

Well, she recently posted that she was going blue. She is participating in the "Out of the Darkness" fundraising walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and if she reaches her fundraising goal, she'll dye her hair blue. (Personally, I think she'd be gorgeous no matter what color her hair, but blue is pretty dramatic, right?)

As we were talking about it on Twitter one night, I offered to go blue as well... I can't do my whole head, because I have a daytime office job and all, but I will absolutely offer up my streak/chunk to support the cause!

It soon grew to include several of us, including Robin from Farewell, Stranger, Jenna (@frelle), (both dear friends from BlogHer) and a real life friend of Cristi's, Brian.

So, how can you help? I just know you're dying to find out!

There are a couple of ways... Cristi's personal fundraising page is here.
Since I'm SURE we'll hit her personal $1500 goal, you can also donate at Cristi's team page, which is here.
Jenna, who I mentioned above and will go blue as well, is also walking in her local walk, so you can support her here.
Just click on the link to donate! It's 100% tax deductible, and every penny is appreciated.

Want some input on just what shade of blue I go with? Leave a comment letting me know that you donated (even if it's just a dollar!) and tell me what shade you'd prefer... Navy? Or turquoise? Royal? Depending on how many votes, I'll either pick a random number or I'll take the shade that gets the most votes.

So can you help us go blue to help prevent suicide?

Six Word Sunday

2011-08-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

Busy weekend.
Birthdays and birth days!

Linking up with Diary of a Mad Woman for
Six Word Sunday. Join us! Fastest post ever!

Down the Aisle

2011-08-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

It's always easy when someone asks what my favorite wedding photo is!
Jamie had just gotten the MR2 when he proposed, so as soon as we started planning, I knew that I wanted to do some photos with it... it would be out getaway vehicle, and I envisioned this photo from day 1:

Not our real getaway; that didn't happen until it was dark out! LOL

And lucky you, or maybe not, I had this blog in 2006 when we got married, so you can easily look at lots of our photos!

I'm looking forward to our 5th anniversary this year... for one thing, it's finally on a Saturday, so we can go on a real date, on date night and everything!

I'm linking up with Natalie over at Mommy of a Monster + Twins... click below to see more gorgeous brides!

Thursday #175

2011-08-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

Feeding the ducks at the golf course after I picked him up at daycare today!

Lessons Learned

2011-08-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm linking up with Mama Kat again this week, and the prompt is "10 Lessons Your Child Could Teach You" I've altered it just a tad to "10 Lessons He HAS Taught Me" You know, artistic license and all...

Cry if you need to. It doesn't matter if it's about the lack of bananas in the house, or because you fell and skinned your knee. If you have the urge to cry, sometimes you just have to let it out!
Lightning McQueen is a neutral. Max has a Lightning McQueen t-shirt that my mom got him, and he loooooves it... he wears it with anything, and he'll say, "Don't I look so handsome?" even if he's paired it with brown plaid shorts and camo print flip flops. (And yes, he always does look so handsome!)
Underpants matter. He would probably still be upstairs in his room, trying to decide between Thomas, Mater and Mickey, if I let him. He cares more about what's covering his butt than what the rest of his outfit might be on any given day. Today, he made a case to only wear underpants to day care because "I'm so comfy!"
Everything's better with ketchup. Ev-er-y-thing. Cucumbers, string cheese, pizza, chicken, cherry tomatoes. All taste better with a little touch o' Heinz.
Repeats aren't bad. He will watch the same episode of a show over and over, and laugh every time, like it's totally new to him. I wish I was so easily entertained!
Jokes don't need a punchline to be funny. Max loves telling jokes, but it is not one of his strengths. Allow me to tell you a knock knock joke a la Max: Knock Knock! / Who's there? / Ummm.... banana! / Banana who? / Banana YOU! Followed by massive laughter. Replace the word "banana" with anything in his line of sight (truck, shoes, cat, Chick Hicks) and that's his entire joke repertoire.
Brushed or combed air is overrated. Pretty self-explanatory, right? He's a fan of the touseled look, and there is next to nothing I can do to prevent it.
Flossing is fun. OK, I can't really understand this one... he specifically requests that I floss his teeth. Weird, right? I mean, I'm glad, because his 2 front teeth are VERY close together (read: overlapping a little, we need to start saving for braces!) so flossing helps make sure we get everything, but still! I think it's his favorite part of the dental routine!
Numbers and letters are fascinating. I love watching him learn; he's kind of obsessed with numbers and letters, and it's a love I hope lasts forever. He's always asking me "What rhymes with ____?" or "How do you spell ____?" or "How many _____ are there?"
My heart is capable of more love than I thought possible. Seriously. Sometimes it hurts just to look at him, I love him so much. To think that my own parents love me as much as we love Max, incredible to consider. I look at him in awe most days. We're the luckiest parents ever.

#BlogHer11 in Sixes

2011-08-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

In an effort not to just give a timeline of "I did this and then I did this and then I went here," I'm going to make some lists. Everyone loves lists, right?
There's no significance to the number six; I just randomly asked Twitter for a number and @MojoMamaBlog answered first!I've split my lists into 6 (Hey! That's totally a coincidence!) cateogries... Highlights will be specifically conference related things I loved, and Critiques will also be conference-related. Clothes are obvious, just some general observations. Swag is some of my favorite, or Max's favorite, from the goodies I brought home, and People and Parties are pretty self-explanatory, I think! Regarding the People category, it's based on people I have photos of/with, so please please please please don't be offended if you aren't on the list!So, let's get to the lists! In no particular order, my #Blogher11 in Sixes...

Highlights

Bumping into/meeting/thanking the 2 women who are directly responsible for my blogging the way I do now (Being "a blogger" instead of just "someone with a blog"). Gwen Bell was one of the organizers of Reverb10 last year, a daily blogging challenge from December, and Rita Arens, who works for BlogHer and was the one who sent the email asking if they could syndicate my self-portrait post on Blogher.com. And, I only cried a little bit!
The "Own Your Beauty: If we can change the conversation, can we change the world?" session on Saturday. An incredible panel of bloggers, talking to a room full of incredible women, talking about beauty, aging, and raising the next generation of women. It was the only kind of "inspirational" session I attended, and I'm glad I did!
The food options for allergies; I'm lucky in that I don't have to deal with allergies, but I have friends who do, and know enough to be very appreciative of the Gluten-Free and Vegan tables set up for every meal and snack time.
Voices of the Year; I'd heard things, "Bring your tissues" was a big one, but I didn't know much about the event itself... I'd read a few posts that were nominated, but wasn't totally clear on what it was. What it was, was magic. Posts read out loud, by their authors. Funny stuff about what some hipsters claim they'd grab in a fire, to heartwrenching posts about red underwear. Amazing stories of recovery, and some "walk a mile in my shoes" tales. I loved getting to hear some of the real emotion behind the words, and have set a goal for next year to write something I'm proud enough of to submit for 2012.
#OperationGlory. I already posted a little about it, but seriously. I still can't listen to "Edge of Glory" without dancing a little bit. It was incredible to be a part of it, and the women I met while preparing.
The air. It was Electric. The community that came together is/was incredible. I've heard rumors of drama, but A) It's bound to happen when you've got almost 4000 women all in one place, B) I was blissfully unaware of it. I didn't have any bad interaction with people, beyond the TSA agent who stepped on my barefoot toe and chipped my nail polish, so my impressions of everyone ended up positive. Even the couple of ladies I had less-than-stellar first impressions of redeemed themselves before the weekend was over.

Critiques

The Geek Bar is something I was really, really excited about. The availability of WordPress education was the main reason one of my sponsors agreed to send me, and since I've been wanting to port over for some time now, I was really looking forward to getting pointed in the right direction for my relocation.
Yup, The Geek Bar gets two entries in this list, I was *that* disappointed. It's my understanding that this was the first year they did this format, and it really felt that way. I'd signed up for a 15 minute, small group conversation about Wordpress. What I found (after wandering aimlessly around the room for several minutes) was a group of about a dozen people sitting around a table, talking about how to share a YouTube video. If I get back to a future BlogHer, and they offer this Geek Bar format, I'll give it another try, because I heard some sessions were good, it was just my interests that lacked, I guess.
Expensive hotel and city I understand that they want a great destination for people, but once I'm sitting in a conference room or rocking out at a party, I don't care if I'm in San Diego or Tulsa. (Well, I might care about Tulsa, no offense to Oklahomans!) A grande coffee was more than $3 at Starbucks, and even the "special rate" at the hotel was close to $200 a night (or something... I didn't deal with that side of things! LOL). I loved having the Gaslight district so close by for exploring, but at what overall cost?
Private official event registration There were a bunch of events announced at the last minute; a lunch with Jane Lynch, a workout with Bob Harper... all of these limited attendance events fill up in minutes, and it makes it incredibly difficult for West Coast/working outside of the home types to get access in time to sign up. I think the Jane Lynch thing filled up in 2 minutes or something... It would be awesome if they could release limited registrations at staggered times to give everyone a better chance to get in.
Arrive on Wednesday This is totally on me, and has nothing to do with BlogHer itself, but I really wish I'd gotten in a day earlier. Besides the Pathfinder Day that I'd love to do someday, I wish I'd had a little more time to explore and just relax. I didn't even *see* the hot tub!
Oatmeal Yes, I understand that Quaker was a sponsor for Saturday's breakfast, but that oatmeal got nasty after a while... and yes, this is just because I needed one more critique!

Obligatory bathroom mirror shot of outfit

Clothes

Wear what you love I'm so glad I didn't only shop my closet and got that sparkly pink dress! I loved it, and can't wait for us NorCal bloggers to plan a fancy GNO so I can rock it again!
I was comfortable; wore either flats or my one pair of extra-comfy Born sandals. Wearing clothes I love made a big difference to me... when I feel good, I'm more confident, which makes me more outgoing.
Bloggers are a gorgeous, stylish bunch! Seriously. I'd read in advance that people would be wearing everything from yoga pants to skirt suits, and it really was true. I saw the whole range throughout the weekend. Even the parties had varying levels of dress... I didn't even bother changing on Saturday night, I just wore what I'd been wearing all day.
Change shoes midday Even if you're wearing flats at all times, it's nice to have the change in just how your toes are squished, just what part of your heel gets rubbed.
Custom clothes/accessories Someday, I'll have a t-shirt with my blog logo or a necklace with my Twitter handle... these were some of the most adorable things I saw.
A cardigan I read it everywhere, "Bring a cardigan for the conference rooms! They get cold!" And then every room I walked into on Friday was warm/bordering on too warm. On Saturday, I left my sweater in the room, and promptly froze nearly to death in a couple of sessions. Lesson learned.

Yes, BOTH of those are 100% swag.

Swag

Solar Cell Phone Charger I got this handy little gadget from a swag get-together, and it was supplied by Imagine Toys. Such a handy little thing, especially in 2 weeks when we're camping and my sister's baby is due while we're gone! LOL
Jeans I managed to snag a spot for a professional fitting with Lee Jeans, and am anxiously awaiting delivery of my new jeans! It's really nice to have a totally neutral person be totally honest with you while jeans shopping! I'd show you a picture, if I wasn't still waiting for delivery! Darn these legs of mine, needing long length and they didn't bring any!
Dr. Scholls Custom Orthotics You know that crazy machine at the drug store that you stand on ad it analyzes your feet and tells you which pair of $50 orthotics you should buy? Yeah, I got a pair of those, and I can't wait to try them out... just need cool enough weather for me to wear my Cons!
Grocery coupons We made a trip to the grocery store the other night with a handful of freebie coupons in my hand... ended up redeeming more then $30 in free stuff, and I have more to use in the future! Coupons are good: easy to get home, don't make my luggage heavier.
Dole Fruit Crisps OMG, so good! It's a little fruit cup, but comes with a crispy topping... they suggest you warm it up first, and the Apple Cinnamon one was delcious, and my parents really liked the Apple Pear I gave them.
T-Mobile Flying Monkey I'm only putting this on here because it's totally Max's current favorite, but it rotates fave status with the Chuck the Truck DVD, Wondertube and Hot Wheels car. The monkey has rubber bands in his arms, so you can launch him like a slingshot, and when he flies, he screams like a monkey. It gets old fast, but Max adores it.

People

Me, @elainea and @bargainshopmom at CheeseburgHer


@frelle, me, Leila's tiny hat and @oldtweener at Sparklecorn

The ladies of #OperationGlory Photo credit: Modchik

@OhYeah_Her, me and @WendyWillBlog


Me and @dontspeakwhinese

Me, @galitbreen, @mamatrack, @farewellstrangr, @madwomandiary, @mytimeasmom

Parties

Sparklecorn The best party by FAR! I haven't danced that much, or had that much fun in a long freaking time, if ever! It really was all it had been talked up to be, and I had an amazing time.
Clever Girls "I'm with the Brand" private event This was only OK. It was the first real party I attended, and don't know how long I would have hung out if not for my snarky soulmate, Leila keeping me entertained. I think the first night is a little soon to have a karaoke/dance contest event; I know I wouldn't been WAY more into that come Saturday night!
People's Party I didn't get there until like 10:45, and it ended at 11. I heard it was good, but the highlight for me was getting to meet The Bloggess and snapping a pic with her.
Sweet Suite This was an event put on by The Big Toy Book, and when someone said toys, I knew I wanted to check out the party, and I was thrilled when I got off the waitlist and got a ticket. It was my first event of the weekend, and I was on my own, so I made the rounds to the vendors, chatted with them a bit, had a glass of champagne and headed back to the hotel. But the swag was great, and Max and my nieces made out like a bandit there!
Aiming Low It was loud and hot and crowded. There were cool tattoos that said "Internets. Hell yeah" or something, but it was too much and I was exhausted. I made a lap around the room and went back to my room. #partypooper
CheeseburgHer The official closing party of the weekend, I tried to stay, but just couldn't do it. I was exhausted and with an early flight on Sunday morning, I only lasted about an hour. I ate a McDonald's french fry, had a drink, and went back to my room to pack and organize swag. The highlight was getting to meet Kit from Blog Dangerously. And the french fries, if I'm being honest.

So, that's it. My BlogHer11 in sixes! I'm pretty much positive I'll think of more stuff I meant to mention, so I'll do a follow-up post again next week! LOL

Thursday #174

2011-08-13T21:58:00.001-07:00

Leaving Libis?

2011-08-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

I'm torn.

As I move more into blogging, and as I prepare to move over to Wordpress, I'm presented with a bit of a problem, and a decision must be made.

It's my name.

I've used "Libis" or some variation of it, for as long as I've been online (way back in the mid-1990s. Seriously.) It's what my sister has always called me (Well, that and "Bibis") because she couldn't say "Elizabeth" when she was 2, and that's what my parents called me until I was old enough to choose Liz instead (And then Lizz, but that's a whole 'nother post!)

Libis has been with me for a long time, and now I'm thinking about leaving her behind. I have met some incredible friends under the guise of this name, befriended some amazing women. But I've also had some of my absolute darkest days, gotten some of my harshest criticism.

From a branding and self-marketing standpoint, it makes more sense for me to have my blog (www.amiafunnygirl.com) and Twitter handle match, or at least coordinate. As it is now, @libismorgan, it matches my current blog, but once I move to WordPress, every URL will be under my own domain, my own hosting. In short, I'm taking control of my blog. There are a couple of variations that go with my blog name, that are available as I write this, but I can't bring myself to click the button.

I'm kind of proud that I've kept the name as long as I have; when I got caught up in some drama last year, I kept it. I didn't run and hide, or try to eliminate evidence of Libis, I just removed myself from that situation and moved on with my life... knowing that *I* know I'm a good person, and that misunderstandings and a lack of the big picture can't take that away from me.

It didn't even occur to me that this would be hard; leaving it from my blog URL is easy; I'm so thrilled to have my own domain, to be moving to the next big thing for my blog, that it's a non-issue. But my Twitter handle? I have a group of friends now, who know me as @libismorgan, and I think part of me worries they'll lose track of me if I change my identity.

Sigh.

So, what do you think? Should I get over myself and move on, or is there a good enough reason to keep Libis alive?

Double Bucket List Weekend

2011-08-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

Home from my first BlogHer experience, and have just been processing for the last few days.
I came home and promptly turned around to go to a concert with Jamie, and then quickly fell asleep to wake up to deadline time at work, so I've been swamped busy for almost 2 weeks straight, with barely a moment to breathe!

But, *exhale* I'm working on it!

The question everyone I've been talking to for the last couple of days: "How was it?"
The short answer: "Amazing."
The longer answer: "Interesting. Not what I expected, but not necessarily only in a bad way. There were highs and lows, but I had a fantastic time and met (and hugged and danced and drank and toasted and cried and laughed and walked and pedicabbed with) some incredible, inspiring women.
The longest answer: Will have to wait for another post, because I'm still working on that one.

But, two obvious highlights would be the TWO items I crossed off my Bucket List this weekend! (Disclaimer: One of them isn't currently on the published list; it wasn't really a "thing" when I first made the list in 2004, and now that #3, "See a shuttle launch life," is a non-option, I've swapped it out. I'm OK with that, because it was TOTALLY worth it!)

So, what are the two?

Well, first off (although not chronologically) "#28 See my name/self on the Jumbotron"Jamie had gotten me tickets to the MUSE 2 concert for my birthday, and Wendy and Toby were able to help schmooze us up to the SIXTH row! Seriously! Bonnie Raitt and Jackson Browne were so close, I could have thrown stuff at them! Over the course of the evening, we found out later, I was shown on the big screen at least once, maybe more... Wendy was on it four times that we know of, and Jamie caught a glimpse of me. So that's cool, right?

And the second one, the replacement #3? Participate in a flash mob!

(Huge thanks to @JennyFeldon for sharing her video with me! It's the only one I show up in! LOL You see me enter at about 1:10, in a black cardi with a B & W striped top... I'm off to the left.)

I will absolutely write more on the amazingness that was #OperationGlory, but I wanted to share this ASAP! :)

Thursday #173

2011-08-09T19:26:00.001-07:00

I think this is offically the latest I've ever posted a Thursday picture, as this was taken five days ago, but I totally have a legitimate excuse! My hectic weekend away (this was taken when Max and Jamie were dropping me at the airport) and then I came home to deadline at work, so it's been nonstop hecticness around here! Sorry Mom and Lucinda!

Making : Revisted

2011-08-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

While I'm off at Blogher 11 this weekend, I am going to pull a few posts from the past that I love and re-share them... Reverb10, the project that brought me "back" to blogging and taught my the ways of Twitter, was a daily blogging challenge from December 2010. I love some of the writing I did there, and I'm pretty sure I'll be revisiting more than just this post.

For this post, the prompt was this: What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I make a lot of things every day. I make coffee. I make my way to work. I make money at work. I make advertisements for clients. I make Max say "Please" and "Thank you." I make a mess. I make friends. I make plans. I make dinner. I make Max put his toys away. I make myself go to bed.
It's easy to "make" stuff. The challenge is in crafting, creating, designing.
It's like the difference between a Polaroid snapshot and a photographic portrait.

I can "make" dinner; it's Hamburger Helper.
I can "create" dinner; it's Peppercorn Roasted Pork with Vermouth Pan Sauce, served with a side of Asparagus with Morels and Tarragon

I can "make" coffee; so can the cashier at the local 7-11
I can "craft" coffee; use my french press with fresh ground Blue Bottle coffee beans and filtered water.

See the difference?

The challenge is to not "make" things, but to take the extra time/effort/thought to craft them instead. It's so easy to get caught up in the making, and I don't think it's always inappropriate. But for myself, for my inner artist (yeah, she's in there) for my sanity, I need to create and craft in my life as well.

Because I don't currently get to create in my day job; it's purely a "make" sort of place, I have to do my creating and crafting in my off time.

I'm a digital artist, scrapbooker, seamstress, baker, paper artist, photographer, aspiring knitter, wood turner, interior decorator... whatever strikes my fancy; if I feel moved to create, I try my best to oblige.

Show Off Your Shot

2011-08-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

I just came across this link-up tonight, at and then, she snapped, and couldn't resist the urge to show off a shot I took this week!

I did a photo shoot with my sister, Katie, and her family, while they wait for the arrival of the third child, currently called "OMeGa" (My money's on a another girl, but who knows?!?! Darn these Team Green people! LOL)
I'm really happy with how most of the shots came out, but I especially love this one!

Go ahead, hit me...

2011-08-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

...with your best shot!

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

10 Things in My Suitcase

2011-07-31T22:05:00.000-07:00

It's all BlogHer all the time around here, since I leave in just 4 days! Tonight I was going through making sure everything fits in my suitcase, and decided to share with you...

Ten Things I'm Taking to BlogHer

1. My bloggy business cards
I'm super excited about how these turned out, which is a big deal, if you read this post. I can't wait to hand them out, and as a bonus, I may have snagged a new freelance client because I was showing these off on Twitter and the print shop RT'd me! (gotprint.net, BTW... amazing prices and great print quality!)

2. Fashion accessories
This is a big deal: I am terrible at accessorizing, and I generally only wear my wedding/engagement rings, a claddagh ring Jamie bought me on our honeymoon and the diamond stud earring I got for my 30th birthday. Organizing "statement" necklaces and bracelets and dangly earrings is a big thing for me! I owe mad props to my co-worker and boss; I've been test-wearing my outfits to work for the last couple of weeks, so they can critique and make suggestions. I've managed to put together some outfits that I'm really comfortable in and feel good in, and have spent very little money to do so! Speaking of outfits...

3. My favorite short-sleeved sweater
Jamie doesn't understand the short-sleeved sweater trend, and I have somehow accumulated three or four of them. He always comments when I wear one! LOL But this green one, and impulse buy a year or two ago, has become of my favorite things I own. It goes with a huge variety of pieces I own, and is the perfect weight for those in-between weather days (and overly A/C'd conference rooms!)

4. A sparkly minidress
I found this randomly on the clearance rack at Kohls, and just couldn't pass it up for Sparklecorn, so now it's mine! I'm wearing it with black leggings and flats, so it's not over the top, but it is totally different from what I'd usually wear, so I'm pretty excited about that!

5. Adorable flats
Shoes are important, of course! I'm packing 4 pairs for 3 days, and could actually have easily taken six pair, but don't want to go overboard! I'm generally sticking with flats, the only exception being my spectacularly comfy Born heeled sandals that I wore all over Europe on our honeymoon.

6. Electronics
Get 3500 geeky ladies together and there will be a LOT of electronics around! I am no exception.
Not shown: DSLR and charger, laptop with power cord and mouse, Flip cam, camera card reader, phone and charger, surge protector

7. Sparkly little clutch for parties
I don't want to have a big bag to carry around at parties, so this is perfect for my cards, room key, a few bucks and my phone. And, it's glittery.

8. Emergency wine
A bottle of Cupcake Vineyard Chardonnay for my roomie Jessica and I, just in case there's a wine emergency! I'm predicting a wine emergency while we get ready for parties on Saturday night. Jamie and I decided to vacuum seal with the Food Saver because, well, we're weirdos. My original logic was that if the bottle broke in transit, this would keep the mess off my clothes. My sister pointed out that the bottle is made of GLASS and will probably tear through the plastic bag. Whatever, reality check. I think it's funny!

9. My toiletry bag
This was a bridesmaid gift from my sister, almost 7 years ago... she calls me Libis, which is the origin of my Twitter handle and Blogger URL. It's gone on all of my trips since I got it, so of course BlogHer is no exception! It holds all the usual stuff... shampoo, brush, razor, makeup, tweezers, and, of course,

10. Secret Clinical Strength Waterproof Deodorant
I, along with what I estimate to be approximately 29.57026% of the BlogHer population, will be using this specific type of anti-stinky stuff. Thanks, Klout!

Summer Social - Advice for Me

2011-07-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

Tell us about an element or two of your blog or social media presence that you are unsure of and would like opinions on.
All of it! My blog archive might go back six years, but I'm still finding my way in this world of being a Blogger (as opposed to someone who blogs) I've only been blogging "for real" for less than a year, so this is a new world and new aspect of it all for me. But anyway... something I'm unsure of.
I want to build more of an audience/community, and am not totally sure how to go about doing that... I've gained a decent number of followers since November of last year, but am not sure how many people are still or regular readers. I don't know what I can do to become more of a destination blog; giveaways? contests? Ongoing series? Start a really popular meme? I tried hosting a link-up a couple of weeks ago and I don't feel like I can really call it successful, with only 8 link-ups.

Tell us about something blog or social media-related that you see as a strength of yours, as well as an area that you could improve upon.
I'm pretty comfortable with the design side of things, even if I *am* a little concerned about starting new with Wordpress! But I can make a banner or a button in no time flat.
I could improve on my consistency of posting I think; when I discovered The Red Dress Club, I didn't miss a prompt for a couple of months, and then once I missed one, I lost track of the schedule and have missed a bunch in the last month or so... same thing seems to happen every time I join something, and it's frustrating! It's a personality flaw, I know, am just trying to force myself to change...

If you had to start over with your blog, what would you change and why?
Well, I kind of am starting over! I'm moving to wordpress.org in the next couple of months, and am planning a complete redesign when I do it, so I'm changing lots of stuff, most of it being things I've been wanting but that Blogger won't let me do. I'd love a couple of static pages; real About Me and Contact Me pages, for example!
I'd really like to be able to interact with my commenters better! I know there exist plug-ins and add-ons for Blogger, but as a short-timer here, it's hard to put any more effort into this specific spot.
I'm going to incorporate my 365 Project into the new blog as well, so a Not Just Thursdays section is needed as well. I've got lots of plans, just need to solidify them!
With the redesign, I'm using a lighter, brighter color palette... I like this look well enough, but am ready for a change. I'm planning to use this palette, and am building my new design from the ground up.

What are your blogging & social media goals? Is there an area you feel is keeping you from achieving these goals that you would like advice on?
I'm actually not sure what my goals might be, at this point.
I'm just taking it all in and will see where it goes from here! These days, I'm enjoying what I'm doing, and if it gets to where I'm *not* having fun? I'll stop there and reevaluate.

I'm linking up with Liz from A Belle, A Bean, A Chicago Dog and Jessica from Four Plus an Angel for this Summer Blog Social; they provided the prompts and I'm writing on as many of them as apply! Click below to join!

Summer Blog Social - Advice for Others

2011-07-29T23:10:00.000-07:00

Finish the phrase, “Before I began blogging, I wish I had known…“. Feel free to substitute “blogging” with “joined Twitter” or whatever other social media phrase is appropriate.
Before I began blogging, I knew nothing. And I kind of like it that way. Everything I've learned in the six years since, about everything from content to memes to writing prompts to design to sponsored posts, I've figured out on my own as I've gone along. I own what I know, and it makes me eager to learn more!
Before I joined Twitter, I wish I'd known how addictive it was! I started my account a year ago, because I thought it would be the easiest way for my family to keep people updated throughout the day of my kidney transplant. I set the "Tweet by Text" number in my cell phone and handed it to Jamie with instructions to "Send a text to that address with updates please" and that was it. I think he tweeted only two or three times the whole day! I wish I'd known more of the etiquette; hashtags, Twitter parties, #FF... all of it. But, like blogging, I also like that I'm learning as I go along!

If a real life friend approached you and said, “I want to start a blog. Can you give me a list of helpful tips?“, what 10 (or more) things would you tell your friend?

Start small. It's OK to have a basic template at first. Don't get so caught up in making it pretty that you forget about the...
Content. You will want to post constantly at first, and that's normal. It's really easy to schedule posts, so you can write a bunch at once, and then have them go public over a few days.
Turn. Off. Captcha. Word. Verification. Immediately.
Ignore the trolls and assholes.
Don't write anything you aren't prepared to stand behind. If you take a strong stand for or against a potentially controversial topic, there's a good chance someone else will have an equally strong stand on the other side of the aisle.
Aim for a balance of pictures and words. The occasional "camera dump" is fine, but really, only you and your mom want to look at a dozen pictures of little Suzy eating Cheerios. Show me one picture, and use words for the rest of the story!
Don't be afraid to take a break. You aren't a "bad blogger" if you don't post for a few days, or even weeks! Sometimes real life gets in the way, and that's OK. Unless someone is specifically paying you to blog (See #8) it's a hobby, not a job with a real commitment.
Get your feet wet before you start searching out advertisers and paid blogging opportunities. Spend some time building a community of readers and THEN look for some dollars.
Have fun!
Join Twitter. It's an amazing tool for building both your readership, your brand and your knowledge base.

When you visit a blog, what areas – besides the main post – do you check out? Do you visit the Nav Bar pages? Look at the sidebars? Check for a list of categories or tags? Talk about the elements of a website that are most important to you.
As a graphic designer, I look for a clean, easy to read layout. I'm skipping over purple text on a lavender background. If there are a thousand flashing ads and crap, I'm out. Music? It wouldn't be possible for me to close that tab any faster!
When I visit a blog for the first time, I'll read whatever post brought me there, and then usually the About Me page. I love having a face to go with the voice I'm reading, so I love a few photos and some bonus info about the person behind the blog. I'm also a sucker for those "Suggested Reading" widgets at the bottom of a lot of posts (I should TOTALLY add one of those here!) And can get lost for quite some time reading over those.
I don't seek them out, but if I see a button for a group (Clever Girls, The Red Dress Club etc) I'll take note and maybe seek out a post related to that, since we have something in common.

What activities, practices, features or events have helped you most in terms of blog or social media growth?
If I was going to link it to a single event, it would totally have to be joining Twitter. Last Novermber, I heard about a project called Reverb10, which was a daily writing challenge for December. I'd been wanting to do more writing and less camera dumps, so this seemed like the perfect thing; I had half the month off still, post-transplant, and a slow time at work, allowing me to write.
And I was hooked! After meeting some Reverbers on Twitter, I was introduced to #wineparty and The Red Dress Club, and through those two things, I've met 98% of my new blog friends, and it's because of Twitter that I'm going to BlogHer next week.
It's allowed to me build an audience outside of people I know in real life, and the amazing people I've met there have changed me in a million ways. As a person, as a writer, as a mom.
So yeah, Twitter.

I'm linking up with Liz from A Belle, A Bean, A Chicago Dog and Jessica from Four Plus an Angel for this Summer Blog Social; she provided the prompts and I'm writing on as many of them as apply! Click below to join!

Thursday #172

2011-07-28T20:29:00.001-07:00

Getting Zen about BlogHer

2011-07-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, I was very active in a church youth program called "Happening." (If you're familiar with Cursillo, it's like that but for high school aged folks) Participants don't have access to watches, time is told with hands spaced apart, not minutes. The program is set, and we tell them on the first night, a group of 40 or so high schoolers who may or may not know another soul in the room:

"You'll get out of it what you need to get out of it. Let it happen."

I have officially adopted that as my mantra as I go about these final preparations for my first BlogHer. (Nine days to go!) My outfits are chosen and accessorized, thanks to input from stylish friends I trust. My lovely roommate added me to the room reservation, so I'm legitimately there. My schedule is decided and programmed into my phone: registering late for the event and being a first-timer, my extra event options were limited, but I'm thrilled with those I am able to attend.

So now, I just wait. I need to get a mani-pedi, but I'll do that after work one day next week. Other than that, and the actual packing, I'm ready to go.

I'm not even looking at any more events that slide down my #blogher11 column on TweetDeck. I'm happy with what I've got, and don't need to jump onto every opportunity that comes along. I came across this fantastic post earlier today, one that talked about "Getting distracted by the shiny" and how overwhelming the conferences can be.

It's not that I'm not thrilled and excited to head off on this adventure, I just need to keep it in perspective.

Why I'm going, and what I want to get out of it.

So, until I'm kissing my boys goodbye at the airport drop-off next Thursday morning, I shall be zen.

I Heart Faces - Water

2011-07-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

This photo is my submission to this week's I Heart Faces challenge. Want to see more amazing photos? Click here:

Thursday #171

2011-07-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Ooh, Listy!

2011-07-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

I asked Jamie to give me an idea of what I should make a list of. He's a funny dude, I thought he'd come up with some fabulous subject for me to itemize. I very rarely ask him to contribute to my blog, so this isn't too much, right? Maybe I shouldn't have asked while he was watching Whale Wars. I was in competition with a boat called Bob Barker, so what did I expect, right?

So, without further adieu, I present...

10 List Topic Suggestions I Got from My Husband
"Hey babe? I need to make a list for this blog meme... what should I make a list of?"

"How about your favorite movies?"
"Favorite songs?"
"Favorite recipes. I don't know what you're looking for here."
"You need how many things? How about your shoes? You like shoes."
"Favorite pictures you've taken?"
"Maybe ten places you want to visit?"
"Or ten places you've been?
"Umm... songs?"
"Things in your jewelry box? Oh wait, I've got it!"
"How about 10 ways to annoy your husband?"

I am TOTALLY doing that next week!

Why Mel Loves Shoes

2011-07-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society.
Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated!
One of my favorite parts of summer is THE SHOES. So for your prompt this week I'd like you to write about your character (or yourself) and a pair of his or her shoes.
Word limit: 650 My count: 609

"I'm sorry, your companion has yet to arrive." Mel was not eager to sit and wait until Sara arrived for their weekly lunch date.

"OK, thanks. I'll come back in a bit then," smiling as she turned for the door.

Reaching for the handle, she noticed an elderly couple approaching through the tinted glass. Juggling her purse and briefcase, Mel went to hold the door open for them, sucking in her breath in an attempt to leave just a little more room between her body and the door frame. The gentleman held the door from his side and smiled. "Thank you, dear," and Mel filled in the but in her mind.

Moving to one side, she watched as the couple stepped around her and entered the restaurant.

In the fresh outside air, Mel looked around for something to kill time. Scanning the local storefronts, she saw her goal on the other side of the fountain, and strode confidently towards it.

Pushing open the door to the air conditioned air that smelled oh so faintly of leather, she sighed in pleasure as she surveyed the displays that now surrounded her. Boots and peep toes, black patent and amazing multi-colored prints. Heels of all heights, buckles and slip-ons, straps and bows. She was in her element, the Jimmy Choo boutique.

Stepping around to the display of the current season's designs, she looked for a moment and then found a seat. Arranging herself carefully on the already small bench seat, placing her bags on the floor, she made eye contact with a salesman who promptly ignored her. Sighing in frustration, she waved her arm at him. "Excuse me? Excuse me, hi. Can you help me please?" Long used to this kind of reaction, she doesn't let it deter her, continuing to talk across the store to the salesman. "I'd like to see these in my size please! Hello?"

Annoyed, the salesman reluctantly moved in her direction; turning on the charm, she gives him a smile. "Hi, how are you today?" Confused by her genuine happiness, he forgot his previous distaste for her and smiled back. "I just need to see these in a 9 please. Oh, and these!" Pointing to two pairs of shoes on the nearby pedestal. "Thank you!"

Returning with the shoes, and she tried them on, carefully examining each pair in the mirrors mounted on the floor. They fit perfectly, like they always do. The first pair, a silver tapestry peep toe with a rhinestone detail on the heel, practically made her swoon, they were just so beautiful. She slipped them off and put the second pair on. There's almost nothing to them, yet they're perfect in their simplicity. Thin black and red straps crossing at the base of her toes and running up the side of her foot, until they met an equally slender strap that wrapped around and secured her heel. The metallic black heel caught the light and winked at her in the reflection.

"Love them both. I'll take them!" She handed the salesman her platinum card and continued to admire her new acquisitions. Moments later, a new shopping bag carrying the two shoe boxes, she has left the store and is headed back across the plaza to the bistro.

Spotting Sara on the patio, Mel waved her tote by way of greeting, making Sara laugh.

"More shoes, woman? You're crazy! Doesn't that bring you up to like a hundred pair?"

"Ummm.... one hundred and four, I think. What? I love them, I can afford them..."

Sara, relying on more than 20 years of friendship, knows there's a third item on that list. "and what?"

"Shoes don't have fat days."

Thursday #170

2011-07-15T07:29:00.001-07:00

Fears and hopes. And more fears.

2011-07-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

There are a million BlogHer posts out there, right? They talk about what to wear, what to buy, what to carry, what to pack, what to ship home, what to expect, what not to expect, what to do to prepare your blog, what to put on your business card, what parties are happening.

This is my first convention, my first time away from both Jamie and Max, and my first time meeting some amazing women I've come to know and, yes, love, thanks to The Twitter and their blogs. (Not the first time, however, that I've jetted/driven off to hang out with some strangers from the interwebs. Drove to CANADA to go to an online friend's wedding in 2006! Didn't get murdered, so that's good news!)

That said, here are my lists; my hopes and fears for this experience, for which I leave in just 22 days. "They" always say you should frame a negative with a positive on each end (Your eyes are so pretty! That pot of coffee you made tastes like asphalt, but I love your shoes!) so I'll do just that. Some stuff I'm excited about, the things that scare the crap out of me, and some more excited stuff.

So excited about the content! My blog may have turned 6 years old on Monday, but I've only been putting real effort into the process of blogging since January, as part of a New-Year's-don't-call-it-a-Resolution. I pondered what it means to be a Blogger as opposed to a person with a blog... the title "Blogger" as I see it, eluded me, and I feel like this trip is one more step in my transition.

So excited about the parties! Late nights drinking cocktails poolside in gorgeous San Diego? Yes please! Swag? Of course! I've even managed to snag a couple of invites to some "private" gatherings, and as someone who has never really been a velvet rope kinda girl, an email saying "You're In! Come join us at..." is pretty freaking cool.

So excited about the people! I get to meet all of these amazing people I've been "hanging out with" for most of this last year. To hug for real, to audibly LOL and *clink* our actual glasses together. I can't wait!

So freaked out about the people! Again, it's been said a thousand times. I'm a socially-awkward dork. I tend to hover over food tables or find a chair and plant my butt at parties where I don't know people. I'm a hugger, but don't want to accidentally force one on a non-hugger. My default face, my relaxed face (Exhibit A), is kind of frowny and potentially offputting. But I worry that if I try to keep a smile pasted on (Exhibit B), I'm going to look like the 2nd runner up at the Miss Pork Cracklins contest.
(Exhibit C: A smear on our guest bathroom mirror of questionable origin. Please ignore it, K? Thanks)

There are women I will meet who have changed my life. See that? Changed. My. Life. Sitting alone in my living room, with my wine/Diet Coke/iced tea, crying as I have a moment of clarity over something I just read? Totally different from standing in front of said moment-of-clarity causer and thanking her. Know this: If I hug you and it seems a little long, it's probably because I'm tearing up and I don't want you to know, so I need a sec to gather myself. Sorry.

So freaked out about crying! I'm a dork who cries at the drop of a hat. Or a shoe. Or a song. Or someone winning a really cool prize or meaningful award. Merely witnessing someone's dream coming true makes me a blubbering mess. I've already watched a couple of videos from past BlogHers that have gotten me almost there, and I KNOW of at least one thing on the agenda that gets me a little choked up at the thought of it.

So freaked out about my business cards! As a graphic designer, I am my own WORST POSSIBLE CLIENT. I'm hyper ultra-super-uber (Yes, I said uber) critical of my own work, and multiply that by ten when it's *for* me myself. I think I designed and redesigned our wedding invitations a thousand times. I'm just going to bite the bullet and order them, but I know I'll be wishing I could change them by the time I've handed out a dozen or so. I really want them to look good, but I also worry that I'm obsessing.

So freaked out about my blog! I know, right? I've been meaning to port over to Wordpress.org for several months now, and just never got around to it. I'm half convinced that if when I get a chance to talk directly to a company, they'll scan my QR code or go to my blog, see my little "blogspot" address at the top and write me off as not enough.

So excited to be challenging myself. I'm stepping onto that plane and out of my comfort zone. New city, travelling alone, new people... it's terrifying and thrilling and I can't wait to go!

So please, if you see a slightly frowny looking (Exhibit A) tall girl with a red streak in her hair, come over and say hi! And feel free to tell me how awesomesauce my business cards are. :)

And if you want to be really great, I'd love to have over 100 folks subscribed here before the convention! I only need like 17 more! Thanks so much! It's over there ----->

Rockin' the Baby

2011-07-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote a pretty heavy "rockin' the baby" inspired post recently, which you can read here. For those who prefer the lighter, more adorable side of newbies, here are a few of my favorites, from when Max was actually a baby-baby, not the ~~little~~ ~~big~~ ~~huge~~ kid he is now!

If you read my blog regularly, you know I'm a picture taking freak. If you're new here, Hi, I'm Lizz, and I'm a picture taking freak. Because of this, I couldn't possibly choose just one photo! Be happy I've limited it to only four! (But I've been blogging since before Max was born, so there are gazillions of other pics if you want to take a look! He is, after all, the handsomest kid that's ever been born in the entirety of humanity.)

Also, if you're into baby pictures, you might find my Thursdays interesting... Max was born on a Thursday, and ever since that first day, I've taken a photo every Thursday and posted it here. You can find them all under the Thursdays category.

Almost 5 months old, one in a series, which you can see here

First Halloween, he's Max from Where the Wild Things Are.
This homemade costume also sets the bar quite
high for all future Halloween costumes. :)

An outtake from our 2008 Christmas card shoot

I couldn't get away with this anymore. I know that. :)

I'm linking up with Shell over at Things I Can't Say for her Rockin' the Baby meme, which follows her Rockin' the Bump series. You can see *my* Rockin' the Bump post here.

Dinner by Pinterest

2011-07-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

Ever since I first had the idea for my Pinterest in Real Life series, Jamie and I have been on a serious kick of trying recipes I find on there... I've made 4 cupcake recipes, 1 cookie recipe, and 3 dinners, and have the ingredients on hand to try a couple more things.

Grilled Zucchini-Crust Pizzas
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

I'd been wanting to try these for a while, since we love pizza, but are trying to limit our (meaning Jamie and I, not Max!) carbs/sugar. This appeared to be the perfect solution, and the only thing that kept us from trying it sooner was that grocery-store zukes are far to skinny to work for pizzas! If you look at the original blog post, she used a big fat zuke... I finally got my hands on a large home-grown one thanks to my sister's friend, so this was an obvious choice for dinner!

They're delicious, and her directions are super easy to follow... the only tip I'd suggest is cutting the pepperoni (if you use it!) smaller... because the single piece was almost the same size as the entire pizza, taking bites of it was hard, and I ended up eating the whole thing in a single bite. There were a few where that was too much at once, and I wish I'd been able to eat it in smaller pieces. As you can see from the pic, we also did some with a leaf of fresh-from-the-garden basil. So yummy!

Also, try to cut your zucchini slices as evenly as possible. There was a little variation in the thickness of our slices, so some got overcooked bit. It didn't make them taste bad, but they fell apart, with the toppings falling out the bottom! LOL

Final verdict: A definite make again whenever I get my hands on a good sized zucchini!

PF Chang's Lettuce Wraps at home
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

We did these for dinner the other night, and thought they were OK, but would definitely make some changes when we make them again.

First off, we used ground turkey instead of chicken. We had turkey on hand, so it was easier. We used iceberg lettuce, but next time I think I might splurge on butter or even whole leaf romaine; the iceberg wasn't very cooperative with the head I was able to find, but maybe a better (bigger) head of iceburg would have worked too.

Our main concern with this recipe was the amount of sauce. Next time, we'll probably double that part of the directions, or maybe 1.5 it. It was good and flavorful, but the meat in the lettuce really felt like a dry crumbly mixture, so I think more sauce would have helped hold it together better.

And one last thing is the water chestnuts... the recipe only calls for half a can, which is kind of annoying. I'd either use the whole can in the recipe (totally wouldn't hurt to have a little more crunch, and bulk it up just a little more) or I'd plan another recipe for the next day that used them as well. I tossed the remaining bit in the can, and the next day realized I could have added them to tuna at lunch or the stuffed bell peppers we had for dinner. Oh well, live and learn!

Final verdict: We'll be making these again, with modifications. I also think they could have used a little more heat, so maybe we'll add some red pepper flakes or something...

And now, for dessert...

Left to Right: Key Lime, Mexican Hot Chocolate, Snickerdoodle

Key Lime Cupcakes
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

Mexican Hot Chocolate Cupcakes
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

Snickerdoodle Cupcakes
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

Condiment-cup cupcakes
Click here for the pin, click here for the original post

I *love* to bake, so I volunteered to make my own birthday cupcakes... Jamie agreed to clean up for me, so it was a great deal for me! This is also why I made three different cupcakes and frostings in a weekend... we'd never eat 150 cupcakes ourselves, no matter how tiny they are!

The first thing that's obvious is the size; I'd seen a pin of making them in the little cups (like the ketchup cups you get at a fast food place) I found them at my local Smart & Final; about $3 for 250. I'm set for a few more batches! I'm in love with this size cupcake! Each one is a single bite, and it's the PERFECT ratio of cake to frosting. No more eating the top half of a cupcake and running out of frosting!
I expected them to bake a lot faster than a regular size cupcake, but all three needed about as long as the recipe calls for; if the recipe said 18 minutes, I started at 10 and checked them, and they ended up going about 16 minutes on average.

If you love mini food as much as I do, give this a try! So cute! I ended up choosing the recipes I did because they're just straight cake and frosting; I don't think these minis would work with fillings or where you need multiple frostings (like a creamsicle one I'm planning to try, that has both orange and vanilla frosting...)

My tip for these tiny bites is to pipe the batter into the cups. Much easier to control the amount going in each one. I just used a ziploc bag with the corner cut off... nothing fancy.

On to the recipes...

Key Lime: Deeee-licious and the overwhelming favorite of the three (according to people at the party) zingy and delicious with just enough citrus kick. Next time, I'll probably skip the food coloring in the cake; it just isn't necessary. (You can't really tell in the pic, but the cake part is pale green) The frosting, we thought, got more flavorful overnight, so keep that in mind if you're making it ahead of time.

The frosting is a cream cheese buttercream, which held up really well on the warm day... my frosting kept its shape really well and didn't get overly runny, so I'll be using that trick in the future too, if I know the frosting will be sitting out in the weather!

Mexican Hot Chocolate: I really struggle with chocolate cake recipes for some reason... this was good, with a nice amount of chocolate, and the cinnamon buttercream was awesome. I think our cayenne pepper is old and stale; it didn't give much of a kick at all, but Jamie said he noticed it in one of the several that he tried. Next time I'll probably punch it up just a tad, or at the very least, buy fresh!

The frosting is a basic buttercream + cinnamon. Tasty but melty.

My only deviation from the posted recipe was that I ran out of mayo, so instead of a full cup, it was about 3/4 c. of mayo and I used sour cream to get the full amount.

Snickerdoodle: We absolutely loved these fresh out of the oven. The cake is almost pound cake-like in texture, dense and yummy. This also had a cream cheese butter cream, but with cinnamon. When I make the Mexican Hot Chocolate ones again, I'll use this frosting recipe instead. Overall, the recipe could use a little more cinnamon, but that might also be because I forgot to add it (duh) and mixed it in once the batter was in the piping bag.

Big (Blogging-related) News!

2011-07-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a couple of awesome companies I work with and for, who took care of my ticket,
and an awesome friend, who is letting me be her roomie, it's going to happen!

I'm going to BlogHer 11 and I almost can't believe it!

Of course, now I have to catch up on all of those posts from the various BTDT folks and check out everything I need to know!

Please link me to stuff I need to read!

Can't wait to meet you guys! :)

Nutella Meringues

2011-07-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

So we've all had those "Forgotten Kisses" cookies at a bake sale or church potluck right? The crispy white meringues with chocolate chips, maybe chopped up nuts in them? I was never a fan, personally, and would break them open to dig out the chocolate chips.
Well, this recipe has converted me! So little work on my part, such simple have-on-hand ingredients. They're awesome! I often get a random urge to bake late at night, so this is a good solution for me, since I won't then stay up half the night polishing off the batch!

Max calls them "paper cookies" because, I guess, they're so crinkly and crumbly. Oh, and did I mention DEEEE-LICIOUS?

Click here to pin it, here to get to the original recipe.

Image source: Creampuffs in Venice

So I first pinned these because, duh, Nutella! Anything that lists Nutella in its name has to be good, right?

In a baking frenzy while Jamie was off camping with his buddies (I made this right after I did the Butterbeer cupcakes) I decided to give these a try. Like I said, super easy on-hand ingredients.

This pictures is from the original blogger, but mine looked mostly the same. They just got eaten so fast, I didn't have a chance to take pictures!

I followed the recipes and seemingly random over instructions as written, with a couple of little suggestions (that I'll use myself next time I make these)

I microwaved the Nutella instead of dealing with the double boiler; I just did about 30 seconds at a time, at 3 or 4 power, and stirred it in between rounds. Gives a nice, slow melt so nothing scalds. You're only melting it so that it will mix nicely with the meringue, not heating it up or anything.

Next time I do these, I'll also pipe the foam onto the cooking sheet. The spoon look, which you see above, is fine for any day cookies, but if I was going to make these for a party or something, I'll definitely pipe them out to get a cleaner look and more consistent size.

When I was done, I drizzled some of the leftover Nutella over them before baking. I DO NOT RECOMMEND doing this! Instead of lovely little swirls of goodness, it made messy bits right on top that just smeared all over my fingers and made these a little too messy for my taste. (Especially because cookies like these make me feel very lady-having-tea dainty, and smears of chocolate all over my hand isn't dainty! LOL)

I also think these would be an AMAZING topping to a cupcake! Chocolate or Nutella cake with a meringue on top? Bliss.

So Jamie and I are now on the hunt for other fun meringue recipes to try... any suggestions?

Have you tried any recipes or projects from Pinterest? Come join my Pinterest in Real life link-up! It opens on Monday!

Thursday #169

2011-07-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

A little free time on a lovely summer morning is the perfect time for a before work coffee and donut date!

Pinterest IRL Link-Up!

2011-07-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

Image source

If you're as hooked on pinning as I am, I'm sure you've heard the folks who say that Pinterest is all about creating the life we think we want... clothes we can't afford, recipes we'll never make, houses we'll never own, blah blah blah.

Well, the vast majority of my pinning is recipes, craft projects, and boredom busters for Max. All things that I can very easily incorporate into my real life! So why not actually make a point of doing just that? And an idea was born! My Twitter friend @rubyspikes suggested I make this a link-up... it's something I'd considered for a second, but wasn't sure how to go about it. Turn again to Twitter, and voila, questions answered! So, here's what you need to do to participate:

Go to your Pinterest boards and choose something to try. I'm mostly picturing people trying recipes and crafts, but anything is welcome!
Try it! I'd love to know if you make any changes or substitutions, because depending on your own results, your voice of experience will benefit others who want to try it!
Grab the button (below) and include it on your post.
When you write the post, please include a link directly to the pin, and one to the original post (for those who aren't on Pinterest!) To include a link directly to the pin, just grab the URL at the top on the window. To include the image, just go to the pin and look on the right edge of the photo... you'll see a bunch of buttons; the "Embed" button will give you the image with a link back to Pinterest and a credit to the source. You can also grab the cute little "Pin It" button if you go to the top right corner of your screen: About --> About --> Goodies and then scroll down to the Pin It button and instructions.
Come back and link up, and check out some of the others! You can pin things that interest you, and find some great new blogs to read as well!

The link-up will be open from July 11-18, so anytime in the next week and a half, see what you can do!

Vlogtalk - Current Obsession

2011-07-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

Pinterest in Real Life

2011-07-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

If you aren't already familiar with Pinterest, it's a semi-new social networking site that I affectionately called "the time-sucking vortex." What it amounts to is a virtual, online scrapbook. More like a bookshelf, really, where you keep your scrapbooks. You can create "boards" for different topics, and then "pin" things to the board, so you have them all in one place for future reference. Pinterest keeps the link live, so it's super easy to go back and revisit whatever you first "pinned"

I installed a little widget up in my toolbar that just says Pin It, so I can mark literally anything I find on the web. As I write this, I've got 22 boards, and they include clothes I'd like to own, quotes I love, things that make me smile, party ideas, boredom busters for Max, home decorating/storage ideas, craft ideas and tutorials, and food. Oh, the food!

I've got 4 boards, just of food. There's snacks/side dishes, meals, kid-friendly foods (mostly manipulated or decorated hot dogs, I've noticed) and sweets. As I scroll through these screens of deliciousness that obviously appeal to me, I thought, when am I ever going to make these?

I've read more than one article that talks about how Pinterest shows the life we think we want to live; clothes we'll never wear, homes we'll never decorate, recipes we'll never try. So I decided to try!
I'm going to start doing as much of the Pinterest "stuff" as I can, be it recipes, craft tutorials, projects with Max, whatever.

And so starts my "Pinterest in Real Life" series! It'll cover a variety of things, so check back and see what else I've tried!

Up first...

Harry Potter Butterbeer cupcakes

Click here if you want to repin, click here for the actual post and recipe.

I made these for a friend's party, because she's a huge book nerd, and knew she'd love them. Made the recipe as written, and it was pretty straightforward.

The texture on the cups is interesting, but I can't really explain it; they were quite good. For people who weren't familiar with Butterbeer (I know, right?) I describad it as a vanilla butterscotch, and no one complained about my description.

Next time, I think I might let the cream soda flatten a little before mixing it it; the fizzing was annoying while I worked, and think the bubbles may have had something to do with the texture.

We have SO MUCH of the filling/drizzle left over! I'm sure it would be delcious over ice cream, but we're trying not to eat too much junk food, so the full squirt bottle sits in my fridge, mocking me... I could have been WAAY more generous with the filling. I did the recommended "cheap squeeze bottle" method from the original post, and would squeeze until it started oozing out. I let them sit for a bit and noticed that by the time I got to the last one, the first had absorbed quite a bit of the filling. I think next time I make these (yes, there will probably be a next time!) I'll go through and do the filling several times, letting it absorb in between squirtings.

Overall verdict: Yum! The frosting is delish, the cake is nice and super moist, and they're lovely to look at!

I'd love to have others join me in this endeavor, so please be sure to let me know if you've tried anything you've come across on Pinterest and let me know the link so I can pin it and try it too!

ETA: A friend just suggested we do this as a link-up, so keep an eye out! I'll get some things organized and be putting a call out here, on Twitter and Facebook, if you want to join in!

A NICU Mom, 3 years later

2011-07-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

Max's first smile; July 2, 2008

This time of year is always a weird one for me, thinking back to 2008, specifically. I was a mom, but didn't feel like I'd come by it legitimately.

I'd never felt a painful kick to a rib, gained those final-weeks stretch marks, or even felt a contraction.

My baby was finishing his gestation, spent his entire third trimester, outside of my body, in a plastic box, being kept alive by machines and highly trained medical professionals. I helped, with kangaroo care and the occasional diaper or bottle, but I felt like I was faking it.

In the days after Max was born, before I had even come completely back to earth, one of my first recollections was feeling like they (my family) were trying to keep me calm by telling me that my baby was real. I thought my sister had printed the photo at my bedside off the internet, I didn't believe I'd really been pregnant. (If you aren't familiar with it, here is Max's birth story)

Months later, right around this time 3 years ago, I still didn't feel real. I knew Max existed, I had my mental faculties back, but I was only a 9-5 mom. Jamie and I joked that not many people get to go see a movie 2 weeks after their baby is born, but it's because we couldn't do anything for him in the NICU.


Those are our wedding rings he's holding

We visited every day, but when you can't even *touch* your child as much as you want, sitting staring into a plastic box isn't healthy. For me, for Jamie, for Max, for anyone. Obsessively counting, watching his chest rise and fall. Staring at the numbers on the overhead monitor to make sure they don't veer off in the wrong direction, too high or too low.

So, I managed. I went back to work when he was 2 weeks old, and yes, I had a c-section. We live 40 miles from the hospital where Max was, and the hospital was (is) just around the corner from my office. By going back to work, I could go feed him in the morning before work, and twice during the day. Then I'd go back to the hospital after work, until Jamie called from the BART station. I'd zip over to pick him up, go back to see Max some more, and then we'd drive home together.

Rinse and repeat.

For three months, that was the extent of my mothering. Of our parenting.

I'm not going to say our nights were any less sleepless than any new parents, but ours were for other reasons... tossing and turning, processing the day's rounds, unable to sleep for fear of getting a phone call from someone in the NICU.

For 91 days, we lived in parenting limbo. There were days we didn't know if he'd ever come home. There were days I sat with my back to his isolette, unable to look at him through the cloud of guilt I felt over not being able to carry him to term. Endless hours of searching online (I know, a horrible idea) reading statistics and medical definitions until my eyes crossed. I went to the lovely shower my sister threw us, oohed and aahed over the generous gifts, but I always felt like I was faking.

I have spent so much of time waiting for a doctor to tell me I can go home, this was the absolute last thing I wanted to pass on to my child. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Updating my blog, trying to make even the less-than-good news sound upbeat and positive. Taking pictures I didn't want to, because I knew in the back of my mind that I'd want them someday. That I owed at least that to Max.

Every day that passed, as my due date came and went, I went along with what my life had become. The 3 times daily walk/jog from my office to the hospital, waiting in the BART parking lot for Jamie's train to come in, scrubbing before entering the NICU, waiting, waiting, waiting.

My rational mind knew that someday it would all be a distant memory, that he'd come home eventually. That those 91 days would only be a minor speedbump in the journey of his life. But when I was in it? Everything took twice as long, in my mind. Every day dragged, every weekend seemed like a week. Time slowed.

Until July 16, 2008, when it sped up. To real time and even faster. We brought Max home to start our lives together, and the clock hasn't slowed down since.

As we put Max in the car for the very first time, in front of the hospital that had been his home and nearly ours for the previous 3 months, "Hey Jude" played on the radio, and we just knew.

Everything would be OK.

Our first night at home as a family.

Thursday #168

2011-06-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

We took Max to see Cars 2 today, so it was a perfect spot to take his Thursday photo!
He did excellent in the movie, even with my fears about the whole potty thing... such a champ!

Little Actions Add Up!

2011-06-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

The following is a post sponsored by Yahoo! Every time someone clicks here to make Yahoo! their homepage, they're showing their support for Girls For A Change.

I was selected for this opportunity by Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

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I grew up a Girl Scout; from first grade (these were the days before the Daisy program!) until I graduated from high school, I was in Scouts. From Brownies to Juniors to Cadettes to Seniors... I made lifelong friendships, and picked up a few useful life skills along the way, how to change a tire and make excellent chocolate ganache are just two examples!

If Girls for Change had been around when I was in school, I can totally see this being an organization I'd have been a part of. GFC connects teenaged girls with adult female coaches, and then (here's the good part!) they change the world they live in!

Good stuff, right?

These teams find an issue that needs to be addressed, and work together to create and implement a solution. These girls are taking on some serious stuff; child abuse, peer pressure, bullying, self image, to name a few.

Peter Burnett Middle School, near me in San Jose, took on "Leaving a Mark on Peer Pressure" as their project last school year. These girls have seen the negative effects of peer pressure from the lack of people standing up for what they believe in. In order to prevent others from giving in to peer pressure and pressuring others they created bookmarks to hand out on campus. The design included messages of encouragement to stand up for what you believe in and to be an individual in order to "leave a mark" on peer pressure. From GFC website

The Clever Girls Collective and Yahoo! have come together to create an amazing opportunity for GFC, but we need your help – Yahoo! will donate $10, up to $10,000 for every person who changes their homepage to Yahoo! before July 1. We need to find 1,000 people, so you can get us one step closer. It's so easy... just click this link, and they'll provide all of the instructions you need. That's it.

So please, can you help get this generous donation of $10,000 to this incredible organization? Together, with just one little action, we can do great things!

Baby Steps

2011-06-25T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Lizz. I'm a 30-something suburban working mom. I've been happily married for almost five years, and have the most amazing 3-year old ever. I'm about as white bread as you can get. We have bamboo floors and granite counters. I drool over the Anthropologie and Tiffany catalogs I get, but in reality get most of my clothes and accessories at Target and Kohls. I watch Grey's Anatomy and So You Think You Can Dance, and listen to Mumford & Sons and Adele.
I'm a mommy blogger and I drive a Mazda hatchback. I scrapbook and bake and wish I could afford to get a mani-pedi every week.

And there's no political issue ever, in the history of my life, that I've felt more passionate about than marriage equality.

I call it an issue, but it's a NON-issue. To my mind, it's like asking me, "Hey Lizz! Should we have burgers or cat poop for dinner?" A non-issue. I just don't get it. Opponents call themselves "Protectors of traditional marriage," or "Save Families! Marriage is between and man and a woman!" Bullshit.

See, here's the thing. If When same sex couples are allowed to marry, one of two things will happen. Either a man in a black trenchcoat will show up at your door and assist your spouse in relocating somewhere else so you can't live together anymore, your child will start doing drugs and hate you, and your pets will die, or, nothing. Yup, nothing.

The sky will stay put, and your life will be exactly the same as it was yesterday. Your paycheck will be the same, you'll still have to make extra trips to the grocery store for milk and bread, your husband's feet will still stink, you'll still have to refill the toilet paper roll, your wife will still nag you about putting the dishes away, and if there were problems in your marriage, they'll still be there. The only difference is that the nice gay couple down the street will now be married, and have the same protections and rights under the law that you do.

And they'll probably be happier than you can imagine, because for them, their marriage has taken effort. They didn't get to walk down the aisle, they've come across a battlefield. They didn't get to run off to Vegas for a drive-thru quickie ceremony after a few too many cocktails resulting in a 55 hour marriage *coughBritneycough* They FOUGHT for this.

Last night, New York state voted to legalize same-sex marriage, and the word is that ceremonies will start in 30 days. A single tweet last night made me tear up, and the thought of these couples, who have been waiting for so long, who will finally get their day... I thought I was excited when planning my wedding!

So here's what it boils down to: Marriage is about love between two people. Two. To deny two responsible, in love, willing adults the ability to marry is denying them the right to be happy. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Who are we to get in the way?

"Last bite, Mommy?"

2011-06-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

"Last bite, please!"

The boy loves his applesauce (and ice cream and yogurt and...) and does a pretty fantastic job of getting it from bowl to mouth without too much spillage. As much as his spoon-maneuvering has improved, there's still one skill he lacks... scraping the sides of the bowl for the last delicious bites.

He'll get up from his table and bring me his bowl. "Last bite, Mommy? Please?" He watches me eagerly as I scrape all of the bits into his spoon and swoop the spoon towards his open mouth.

Delayed gratification. He thinks it's hilarious that I tap his top lip with the loaded spoon, just a taste... he laughs and licks his lip, and I swoop in again. Three or four times I do this, before scooping the whole bite into his mouth. He swallows and grins and looks in the bowl. "A little more?"

And there always is... a little more. Just enough for one more little spoonful. One more round of utensil airplane.

Max probably thinks I have magical applesauce creating powers, that I can always get that second last bite.

He has no idea.

I leave the last last bite on purpose. It buys me that much more time. Another 15 seconds of him leaning close to watch me, another 30 seconds of giggling. Another mouthful for this boy who no longer needs to be fed by me. So many bottles we had together; hundreds of them. But not anymore.

He eats sandwiches, grapes and hot dogs whole. Popcorn by the handful. He dips everything in ketchup and thinks everything tastes better with cheese. Even peanut butter. As he turns into this self-sufficient little human, he needs me less and less.

It's true, he still needs me pull his pants up (or down, since we're potty training!) and to help him brush his teeth, but every day he's one step closer to total independence.

Part of me looks forward to the day when he can reach stuff I can't... that'll totally come in handy when I want to dust the ceiling fan! But in the meantime, I'm trying to just revel in and enjoy every day just the way he is. One last bite at a time.

Thursday #167

2011-06-23T21:17:00.001-07:00

Life, or Lack Thereof

2011-06-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society.
Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated!
Flash Fiction can be fun and a real challenge. This week focus on the words and the strength of each to contribute to your story. Write a 300 word piece using the following word for inspiration: LIFE.Word limit: 300 My count: 300 EXACTLY!
Reveling in the first warm day after a rainy spring, she lies back in the adirondak chair and stretches her legs out in the sun, feeling very feline as she luxuriates in the warmth.

Connor runs around the yard, as thrilled as she to be outdoors again. Porch to mailbox, to Mr. Rommel's rosebushes and back.

Getting caught up in her gossip magazine, she loses track of time and realizes it's been a few minutes since hearing Connor's joyful shrieks. Looking around the yard, she spots him in Mr. Rommel's yard, staring intently at the ground under their neighbor's giant maple tree.

Her curiosity piqued, she heads across the lawn to join her son. "What's goin on, Peanut?" Not wanting to startle him out of his concentration, she calls out when she's halfway there.

"Come look, Mommy! What is it?" His chubby toddler finger points at the base of the tree. "What is it? Can I poke it?" He's found a stick, which he now wields at the tree.

"Hang on, Con" She arrives next to him and sees what he's examining.

It's a mouse, or something. From the looks of it, it died some time ago, and is barely recognizable as an animal.

"Oh, sweetie..." kneeling down next to Connor, she gathers him onto her lap for The Talk. "It's a mouse, but he's gone to heaven..." Pause to search his face for some reaction. "When you're all done with your time on Earth, God calls your soul back to heaven, but your body stays here..." Pause. "But it's OK, because your soul is who you are, and that's up in heaven with God." Exhale. He doesn't appear to be traumatized; his eyes have returned to the decomposing rodent.

"Oh," he says, confused. "I thought it was just dead."

Thursday #166

2011-06-16T22:35:00.001-07:00

Helping water Nana's flowers, which he also helped plant a couple of weeks ago.

Humpday Haiku

2011-06-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

I'm joining Leila over at Don't Speak Whinese
for her Haiku Humpday this week, where I'll run down my week, in 5-7-5 style.

All this wookie talk
Makes me want to watch Star Wars
Chewbacca is great

A hashtag party
That's not just about the wine
Must join #wineparty

Work isn't busy
So my days just drag on by
Ready for weekend

Guys yearly camp-out
They drink and swear and hang out
I'm just stuck at home

Can't commit to write
Whole stories overwhelm me
Haiku is perfect

Quickie Moments

2011-06-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

Just some little snippets from recent life with Max, from Facebook statuses and general notes...

We're potty training (sigh) and the other night, Jamie put Max on the toilet. After about 30 seconds, Max yells from the bathroom (he needs privacy and asks you to leave the room) "Okay! I'm done!"
Jamie walks in and says, "Why don't you hang out here for a minute? Can I get you a book?"
"Hmmm.... I think I'd like a magazine."
"OK then."
Jamie walks out to me in the living room and says "The Boy requests a magazine, and I don't want him pooping on my Fine Woodworking," so he grabs a Maxim that's laying around and takes it to Max.
"Oh. Not that one! I want the Reader's Digest one please!"
Jamie comes back to me in the living room. "He wants Reader's Digest."
As soon as we both recover from our laughing fit, he takes the most recent RD into the bathroom.
"Aaah! There it is! Reader's Digest!"

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I let Max take his Hot Wheels out front to race them on the walkway. He's now bringing them inside. One. At. A. Time. All 20+ of them. I'm pooped just watching him!

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Some mornings when we're running late, Max gets his Cheerios in a ziplock baggie to eat in the car (sans milk) We've been out of sandwich baggies for some time, and were using the actual Ziplock brand freezer bags we get at Costco. When we finally replenished the generic sandwich baggies, upon handing Max his Cherrio bag, he said, "That's not right! It doesn't have pink stripes or blue stripes!"

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I gave him one of my old stuffed animals, a seal from some excursion with my parents/grandparents I'm sure (Make mental note: Ask my mom) He saw it up on a shelf in his room, identified it as a seal and asked to play with it, so I handed it over. Looking at it (after a big hug and kiss) he said "Oh no! Where's his face?"
I pointed out the eyes and nose and drew an imaginary line with my finger for where the mouth should be (artistic license on the part of the toy designer, I guess)
I had him leave the seal at home on his chair, and as we walked out of the room, Max had his shoulders slumped and a hangdog expression on his face.
"What's wrong kiddo?"
"I'm worried about my seal. He doesn't have a mouth! How will he eat applesauce?"
So sweet that he's worried about the toy, but I'm a little worried about him trying to feed applesauce to his toys!

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"Oh, Mommy! You're a Queen and I love you so much!"
"Aww, thanks kiddo! That's very sweet!"
"Yup. You're big like Lightning McQueen! And red!"

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"Let's sing a funny song! Row, row, row your boat... {insert rest of song} merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life's a bowl of spaghetti!"

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He has started naming his toys, and not just by adding the "ee" sound to the end (Cowey, Trucky, Chickeny, etc) The yellow Hot Wheels dumptruck is now Chootrizz, and the jungle print Humvee is Johnjo. And one of them is College, but I'm not sure who... the bulldozer, I think.

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He likes getting us to say things. "Say purple!"
"Purple"
"Say purple again!"
"Purple again."
"Say purple again!"
"Purple again."
Repeat half dozen times, until he says: "OK. We both say purple."
(Purple can be replaced by any word he can think of)

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And a little bit of friendly kiddo torture from the other night...
Disclaimer: This was him requesting to watch CARS for the THIRD time in a day... he is not suffering from a lack of Pixar exposure.

Vlogtalk - Summer Tradition

2011-06-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

Six is not enough

2011-06-13T18:00:00.000-07:00

Prologue: I just noticed that I never published this for the link-up! D'oh! Well, for those who are interested... here it is!

This week, Mama Kat asked us to elaborate on our six word memoir. Because I wrote six times six, I'll elaborate on each, or, since I'm feeling lazy, link you to another post that'll do the explaining for me! :)
I chose my six lines to represent semi-even spacing throughout my almost 34 years; looking now, I kind of wish I'd left out the divorce one, because I don't think it even deserves the weight I've given it here. It's WAAAAY down the list of important events, and doesn't even rank in the top ten any more.

Independence Day; welcome to the world!
I was born on the 4th of July. I was actually due on 7/7/77, but showed up on the holiday instead. (An interesting side note, Max was also due on 7/7, but had other plans)

He left me; divorced at 22
He proposed on my 19th birthday; we'd been dating for about 4 months. We were married when I was 20, even though I'd wanted several times in the months in between to call the whole thing off. This is what it came to in the end.

I'm told the words: "Kidney transplant"
I first got sick in Sept. 2000, and spent Feb. 2001 (plus some) in the hospital getting treatment for an autoimmune disease called Goodpasture's Syndrome. I gained 150 lbs in water weight when my kidneys shut down, and was put on dialysis as a "back-up plan" to allow my kidneys to recover. They didn't, and in July 2001 my doctor told me the words that would change the rest of my life.

High school crush, he's finally mine
The short version

Sweet baby boy, born so early
Max was born at 28 weeks. Here is his birth story.

Trying to find happily ever after
Dec. 10, 2006: The start of our happy ending

This post is in response to the Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,
"Last week you chose a 6 word memoir to share…this week elaborate.
Tell us the story or thought process behind the sentence you wrote."

Rockin' the Bump

2011-06-12T20:41:00.000-07:00

This is the last picture of me pregnant.
Taken on Sunday, April 13, 2008, I was 27 weeks, 6 days pregnant.
Max was born the following Thursday.

My whole life, I looked forward to being pregnant. As much having a baby, I wanted the pregnancy to go with it. In high school, my little paunchy belly (ha!) was, in my 16 year old eyes, my biggest physical flaw. In pregnancy, I figured, that would be replaced by a glorious baby bump and I could flaunt my amazing shape.

When we found out I was pregnant, about a month before our first anniversary, we were thrilled. I'd sit as still as I could on the couch, trying to feel the baby, even though he was barely a grain of rice.

I indulged every craving; I never craved anything specific or weird, but had what we came to call "monkey cravings," I'd see a commercial or read about a food and would need it. Immediately. Monkey see, monkey want. I stopped at the local Cheesesteak Shop every day on my way home from work to get a chicken & cheese sandwich as a snack.

I loved being pregnant. I didn't get morning sickness, just had to sleep more... I fell asleep on the couch in the middle of a Superbowl party! Watching myself grow, knowing the amazing things happening... I devoured books and blogs about baby's development, what I could be doing to help the baby do his very best.

I loved the anticipation. Jamie and I at the "big" ultrasound; the tech asked, "Do you want to know the gender?" and Jamie pointing at the screen, saying "Duh! I can see his schmekel!" and tearing up the first time I heard Jamie say the words "my son"

I felt amazing for my entire pregnancy. Until I didn't. But that isn't what this is about. (ETA: If you're interested in reading Max's birth story, you'll find it here)

I love baby bumps.
All of them.
Big ones, little ones, lumpy ones, smooth ones.
Singletons and triplets, stretch marky and seemingly airbrushed perfect-looking ones.
And I'd love to see yours!

Join me at Shell's Rockin the Bump link-up!
It's open all week!

Thursday #165

2011-06-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you meet my new favorite photo of Max.
Like, ever.

Vlogtalk - Most Annoying Toy...

2011-06-07T18:17:00.001-07:00

... and how to "FIX" it!

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

Max at Three, the Interview

2011-06-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

I asked him these questions over the course of a few weeks around his birthday, because I couldn't get him to do them all at once. I plan to ask these every year...

What's your name? Max

Do you know your full name? I'm just Max!

How old are you? I'm freeeeee! {with fingers}

What's your favorite color? What's your favorite color? Pink! Mine is blue.

Who's your best friend? Daddy's my best friend, and you're my best girl. And Nana.

What do you like to watch on TV? Dora. And Diego. And Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

What's your favorite song? The Journey one. And the World one. And the Eraser one.
(Translation: "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, "Across the Universe" by the Beatles, "Eraser" by the Barenaked Ladies)

What's your favorite food? Burger with cheese and ketchup

What are your favorite clothes? My handsome shirt!

What books do you like? What's Wrong Pookie? and the Dinosaur in my Backyard

What do you want to be when you grow up? Hmmmm.... I think.... Max!

And look! He totally got Jamie's single brow-raising skills!

Thursday #164

2011-06-02T11:48:00.001-07:00

Six Word Memoir (x6)

2011-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

This prompt was like haiku or potato chips to me... can't do just one!
So instead, I'm gonna do several for different phases of my life. They're kinda fun... try it! I could have done more, but liked the logic of 6x6.

Independence Day; welcome to the world!

He left me; divorced at 22

I'm told the words: "Kidney transplant"

High school crush, he's finally mine

Sweet baby boy, born so early

Trying to find happily ever after

This post is in response to the Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,
"Write about a significant time in your life in only six words"

Vlogtalk - Proposal

2011-05-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

Our engagement story, complete with homemade visual aides!
And check me out, I learned how to cut! Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

I've had this blog since before I got engaged, so if you click here, you can see my original "I'm Engaged!" blog post with more photos! :)

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

The Toy Box

2011-05-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society. This is a work of fiction. Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated!

Write a short piece - 600 words max - that begins with the words, "This was absolutely the last time" and ends with "She was wrong."
Word limit: 600 My count: 414

"This is absolutely the last time I'm putting this crap away," she mutters to herself as she circles the living room, laundry basket perched on her hip, tossing board books and plush toys in as she walks.

Stopping to stretch her cramping body, she lets the basket drop to the coffee table and rubs the small of her back. Surveying the living room, littered with primary colored plastic and various toys with choking hazard pieces, she considers cancelling Christmas and birthdays, just to reduce the clutter.

Too. Many. Toys.

So many ignored emails, to both her parents and his, asking for gifts of time together instead of material goods. Failing that, the suggestions of shoes and movie tickets were also shrugged off. The endless flow of toys, only coming in, never going out. Even broken pieces and packaging claimed by the children as sacred.

"I'm done. I'm cleaning out some of this crap. Now." Kneeling next to the toy box, she starts pulling toys and sorting them into boxes she labeled with a Sharpie. "Toss, donate, sell, keep..." repeating it like a mantra as she slowly sorts the tangled mass. Dolls with no hair, cars with three wheels, twist ties and burned out flashlights. The piles grow and the burden of the clutter lifts slightly with each bit that lands on its respective pile.

The toy box emptied of its contents, the four piles taking up most of the living room, she stands to survey her work. The "Keep" pile isn't the smallest, but it's not the biggest either. "Perfect." Going in to the kitchen to get trash bags, she hums happily to herself, content with the progress she's made. "They won't even miss that stuff. They won't even notice."

"I deserve a treat," she says aloud to the empty room, and sets the coffee pot to brewing. "Clean up that stuff, have a cup of coffee, get the kiddos up from their quiet time... perfect!"

Stepping through the kitchen door and back into the living room, she finds Charlotte, her oldest, sitting amidst the boxes, her tear-stained face looking sadly at her mom. "Mommy, are you throwing my toys away?" Pointing to the box that was destined for the trash, she sounds it out. "Tuh-ahh-sss-sss. This says 'toss', Mommy! Why are you throwing our toys away?"

"I'm not, sweetie. I'm just.... organizing." The weight settled back in on her shoulders.

They won't even miss that stuff. They won't even notice.

She was wrong.

Five Fab (Online) Friends

2011-05-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

In no particular order, some blogs that I just can't get enough of...

1. Adventures of My Kidney I met Elissa on Twitter (@elissastein) when she was about midway through her journey to donate a kidney to her brother, and have loved following their ups and downs as they go through the process... it's interesting for me to see it from the donor side, since I'm well-versed in the recipient side! The way she has managed their setbacks and health scares is amazing to me, and makes me appreciate the gift Tim gave me all that much more.

2. Sellabit Mum Tracy (@sellabitmum) is freaking hilarious. For reals. She's got adorable 3 super adorable girls that she takes darling photos of, and she can always be counted on for a good laugh. Seriously. Take a look at her #SeniorHottie post. Go, now. I'll wait. . . . See? I told you!

3. Geek Details I met Amanda (@geekdetails) online about a million and three years ago, and have been a ~~stalker~~ fan ever since... she makes and sells fab little geeky goodies (buttons and necklaces and home decor, oh my!) and I always have to check in and see what color her hair is this week.

4. Princess Lasertron If anyone could ever persuade me to up and move to Omaha, Nebraska, it'd be Megan (@lasertron). She makes incredible felt flowers and turns them into bridal bouquets, headbands and brooches, and released an honest-to-goodness fashion line of her very own last year! She lives the kind of creative life I aspire to have, and just looking at her work makes me giddy. Oh, and her little girl? Just about the cutest ever.

5. Blog Dangerously The creator of the original Twitter #wineparty, Kit (@blogdangerously) is indirectly responsible for approximately 39.42% of all tweets I've posted, thanks to her Friday night get togethers. Her blog (totally NSFW but in words only, so the pictures aren't bad!) takes an honest, frank look at married life and parenting. And sex. She talks about sex a LOT. But not in a weird way... she's super nice and fabulous, and just risque enough to perfectly round out my top 5 tonight.

These are just a few of the many, many amazing blogs that I read on a regular basis, but I'm always looking for more! I'd love to hear what some of your faves are, too! Leave me a note in the comments... I don't even make you decipher a captcha!

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Thursday #163

2011-05-26T18:35:00.001-07:00

Can you tell I just busted him for putting the bubble gun in his mouth? LOL

Son of a Beach!

2011-05-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry. I had to.
Forgive me?
Thanks.
Moving on.

Think California beach. Blonde girls, sexy lifeguards, 90 degree temps, white sand, blue water, surfers, right?
Not in NorCal! Our beaches can be chilly, the sand can be dark and pebbly, the grey-green water is freeze-your-butt-off cold, but I love them.
I prefer the beach on a cold winter's day, when I can bundle up and listen to the waves, than when it's hot and crowded and I'm worried about getting sand in places that should never be sandy.

We were lucky to spend the weekend a couple of weeks ago at one such northern California beach, when Jamie's grandparents, dad and stepmom rented a house in Half Moon Bay and invited us to join them! (OK, they invited Max and aquiesced that we could come too! :))

The weather man predicted rain on Sunday morning, but we were blessed with a gorgeous morning instead, so we headed towards the water for a little adventuring for Max and picture taking for me!

The beach is the only place Max is allowed to throw rocks,
so that's a major highlight for him...

3 generations, Ed, Jamie and Max

And I had some fun with macro and scenery shots...

This post is in response to the Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,
"Photo story: Last time your family went to the beach"

Stayin alive, class of 95!

2011-05-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

As it seems to happen so often these days, I found myself involved in a chat on Twitter about high school graduations and such, and soon a meme was born. Liz, from A Belle, A Bean & A Chicago Dog is hosting the first (annual?) "I was a #SeniorHottie" We're just group of folks who are finding, scanning and posting some selected photos from their own good ol' days. Go grab a few and post your own and link up! The linky will be open until Monday!

And so here are mine.

It's hard to choose, actually, and a lot of mine have been scrapbooked and are in albums, which made scanning a little more challenging.

I don't know why I've kept this ID card. It's the only one I still have, but thought it was a cute bit of ephemera to include! :)

My co-worker saw this pic and said "Awww, doing homework!" But no, I was working on something SO much more important... making a mix tape! (Or as the really cool kids called them, a mixx tape) Please note the super awesome waterbed and giant crayon bank.

I swear I went to junior prom with Shaggy from Scooby Doo! A friend from my job at the movie theater, he fell asleep under the table. Not drunk or anything, just bored, I guess. Yeah.
Lovely gold shoes from Payless and gigantic updo from Awe-dacious hair salon.

The worst of my 4 years' photos, junior year. Awesome tail o' hair, right? I only had three ear piercings then, and would add 4 more before the end of the year. The dress I'm wearing was a mid-calf length empire waisted flannel thing. The epitome of girly grunge, or something. That moon necklace is still in my jewelry box as I type this...

I think we took this pic to send to my grandma to show her how tall I was compared to my mom. My hair is in my favorite style of the time, little half-up pigtail things, and I'm sporting my pseudo-feminist pro-choice t-shirt and Doc Marten mary janes. And my mom has a cigarette! I often forget that she even smoked, even though she did just that for the VAST majority of my life. She didn't quit until 2004, and she quit so that the doctors would let her give me a kidney. (She's pretty much a badass, even in those glasses that are eating her face)

I was in band. Yeah, baby. I wasn't cut out for marching band though. This entire parade, I pretended to play because I hadn't been able to memorize the Star Spangled Banner. Continuing the previous photo's trend of accessories eating people, that headband is taking over the world, and I remember that I *intentionally* didn't tuck in the back of my shirt.

Manners are important, but when Max graduates (kindergarten, junior high, high school, med school whatever) I shall remind him, no matter what, NOT to thank the person handing him the diploma. Because if you do, you get a photo of yourself sticking your tongue out when the photographer clicks on the "Thh". Exhibit A:
I do however, still love those shoes! ^^ I called them my wicked witch shoes and L-O-V-E-D them!

Bingo!

2011-05-23T22:27:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club's memoir writing project, Remembe(red). Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!

This week, we want you to recall the games you played when you were young.
Did you love Monopoly, Yahtzee, or Uno? Or did you prefer backgammon, Trouble, or Scrabble?Word limit: 600 My count:
I wanted to do good.

I wasn't hoping to win, but I wanted to make Mommy and Grammy proud. I'd spent so many visits planted nearby, entertained by Barbies or Laura Ingalls while they played and drank tea, hot or iced, depending on the season.

I'd finally been invited to join them, since I was getting older. I was double-digits now, ten years old.

"Elizabeth, honey, would you like to play Scrabble with us?" The first rite of passage I remember into growing up. My mom and grandma always played a game of Scrabble per visit, sometimes several games.

Grammy's board was huge. It sat on a homemade-by-Grampy lazy Susan, so it spun to face the current player. It didn't fold, but had a raised plastic grid to hold tiles in place. If I was lucky, I got to help flick the tiles out of their little squares in between games.

My mom's board was more run of the mill, but just as special to me. Folding the board to funnel the tiles into one of the first (or so she says) things my mom ever sewed, a red and white print bag that is as ingrained in my memories as my own name.

And now here I sat, arranging my seven tiles carefully on the rack, looking for a word to leap out at me.

And then it did.

I spelled it very carefully to myself, to make sure I wasn't mistaken. I was right! I had a word! Thrilled, I tried to play nonchalant, watching our standard poodle, Annabelle, running her circuit around the backyard, barking as cars drove by.

It was my turn now, my very first turn in my very first game with Mommy and Grammy.

Carefully now, I picked up my tiles one at a time, not wanting to get things out of order.

S-E-A-S-O-N-S

I proudly added up the tiny numbers on each tile. "Seven! I get seven points!"

My mom and grandma just looked at each other and laughed.

"Fifty seven. You get a bonus for the bingo! You used all your tiles in one word! I think you're a natural."

I'd done good.

Vlogtalk - Magazines

2011-05-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

Three favorite magazines? Done.
I totally intended to do titling and stuff, but OMG, where does the time go? I now know HOW to do it, but I think I'll wait to amaze and astound with those skills until I ~~have a shorter video to do~~ feel that the time is just right. :)

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

Thursday #162

2011-05-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

Oh. we've entered this phase, have we? This is what I get when I ask Max if I can take "just one handsome picture" *sigh*

Vlogtalk - Name Origins

2011-05-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

Just me again, talking about where Max's and my blog name came from.
With a special bonus 2nd prompt response!
Next week, my goal is to use some captions, titles or graphics or something, instead of just recording this in the morning before work. *cough cough*

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

10 Years, 3 Months, 21 Days

2011-05-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club's memoir writing project, Remembe(red).
I really appreciate comments and feedback.
Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!

Write about the first (or second) memory that
comes to mind when you see this:

Word limit: 600 My count: 545

I will always be an ex-smoker.

I'm one of the "lucky" ones; quitting wasn't a challenge for me. I didn't know I was quitting at the time, because I was admitted to the hospital for six weeks and I was so busy trying not to die, it didn't even occur to me to be miserable about quitting.

I had smoked a pack (or more) a day for about 7 years; an inexorable part of my life. Wake up, have a smoke. Get in the car, grab a cigarette. Break at work, I could get in 2 cigarettes in a 10 minute break.

It had its low points, of course... huddling under an awning in the rain, trying to stay dry so I could get my fix. The coughing. Paying $4 or more per pack. The cherry that flew off my cigarette while driving on the freeway, falling down my back and burning my flesh and the car seat. The yellow-stained fingernails. The smell of stale tobacco and smoke following me everywhere I went, the minty gum and perfume fooling no one.

But, oh, a smoke and a cup of coffee. Sitting with my girlfriends on a café patio, drinking cup after cup of over-sweet mocha java, chatting, laughing and chain smoking. My friend Kristy and I used to buy trashy Cosmo magazines and we'd lay on her bedroom floor smoking Capri 120s and reading the articles, taking the embarrassing sex quizzes out loud.

Smoking was great. It gave me something in common with people I'd meet at the bar, an automatic community of people wherever I went. We would look into buildings from outside, feeling smug, superior and cooler than the non-smokers inside.

I'm not one of those obnoxiously proud ex-smokers; I don't cough delicately when someone comes back in the room from a smoke break. I don't harass friends into quitting. I'm proud and happy when they do, but it's not my call if they smoke or don't.

Because if I had my choice, I'd still smoke.

Seriously.

I. Still. Miss. It. Every. Single. Day.

And I hate that it still has that power over me. Almost a third of my life has passed since I was a smoker, but I still crave it sometimes. Sitting at that same café with the same girlfriends, even though none of us smoke anymore. Watching a dark European film where everyone apparently chain smokes still gets me. A fresh doughnut and a cup of coffee makes me miss the rhythmic tapping into the ashtray.

I wish I'd never started, because if I'd never taken that first drag, I wouldn't know what I was "missing out" on, wouldn't still be missing those things.

When I drive down the street and see someone smoking on the sidewalk, the first thought that goes through my head is "People still do that?" and yet, I think I'd probably still be one of them if I'd never gotten sick. I worry about explaining this to Max; don't start, kiddo, because trust me and your dad. Being an ex-smoker is tougher than dealing with turning your buddies down now. Better to be un-cool for a minute today than to be stuck with these cravings forever.

But I can't worry about that today. Today, I'll concentrate on my journey as an ex-smoker. And look forward to having 10 years, 3 months, 22 days under my belt.

Excuse me, Mr. Bubble Monster

2011-05-13T13:37:00.001-07:00

Have you seen Max? We can't seem to find him anywhere! Can you have him call us if you see him? Thanks.

Thursday #161

2011-05-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

Vlogtalk - Introduction

2011-05-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

Hey look, it's me! This is my 3rd vlog in about a month, my 3rd one ever, actually!
Looking forward to getting to know the other participants in this fun little challenge!

This video is in response to a Twitter challenge, #Vlogtalk. Click on the button below to check out more video blogs from other participants!

Sweet Dreams

2011-05-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

Big Boy Bed Success, ~~day~~ night 1
Jamie came down from putting him to bed and said, "No more head down after stories!" It's like it just hit him that our baby is growing up faster than either of us can believe.
When they read bedtime stories, Max would sit on Jamie's lap in the rocker and put his head on Jamie's shoulder after the story. Now Max is in his bed while Jamie reads to him. No more head down.
One less bit of baby, one more step towards growing up.

Up next? We're moving the rocking chair back to my parents house. I'm already mentally preparing.

That Green Grass

2011-05-05T15:32:00.001-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society.
Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated!

Aaah...jealousy. We all have it. We all feel it.
And now we'd like you to write about it. We'll leave it open: you can write about something or someone you envy, or a time when your jealousy got you in trouble, or maybe how it makes you feel to be envious. Whatever you want.
Word limit: 600 My count: 401

Two women arrive, one right after the other, at the doctor's office. Perching themselves on the uncomfortably upholstered bench seats, each one acknowledges the other with a slight smile, but keeps the rest of her thoughts and observations to herself.

12:15 already? Sophie is going to be
hungry soon. Please hurry, Dr. E!

I'm early, Dr. Elliott. I've got a client meeting
at 2, so you need to be on time today!

It's OK, baby! Mommy just needs to
talk to the doctor for a minute.

I hope her appointment isn't before mine.
She's home all day! She couldn't have
made her appointment for when
the rest of us are working?

Oh, I love her shoes... I miss gorgeous shoes.
D'orsay pumps. My favorite. Manolos?
Ooh! Red sole– Louboutin!

At least her baby isn't being annoying.

And her skirt is spectacular. I remember
when I could wear pure white like that.

She is totally a perfect soccer mom.
Cute ponytail, broken-in sneakers,
comfy yoga pants.

I wonder how much she spends on
her hair. The color is amazing!

The baby's curls are adorable.
And such a cute outfit!

Lawyer?

That's totally how I'd dress my baby... if I had one.
I should ask where she... no, that would be crazy.

Investment banker?

But I'd want a boy.

Real estate. Definitely real estate.

Sebastian.

I always loved real estate.

Sebastian James.

I could have been good at it.

I'd call him Baz and I'd
make a damn cute baby.

I'll bet she has cocktails with dinner.
In an up glass. Mmm.... dirty martini.

Why'd Mark have to throw
our relationship away?

Here, Sophie... want Mama's milk?
Where's that nursing shawl?

Oh, I can just imagine how amazing
breastfeeding is. That bond.

Her boobs are to die for.
I wonder if they're real.

I wonder if I could breastfeed.
I'd like the chance to try.

Those earrings have got to be
over a carat apiece.
And I've always loved that
Paloma line at Tiffany's.

All I ever wanted was to be a mom.

I wish I'd kept working. I loved working.

Doing crafts, baking, room mom, PTA...

I love you, Sophie-doll, but...

I would have been good at that.

Mommy has to wonder sometimes.

I have to wonder sometimes.

If this is all there is.

I'll bet she has the perfect life.
I'll bet she has the perfect life.

Thursday #160

2011-05-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

Notice anything interesting about this pic? Maybe not, since I cropped it in pretty close... we took the front of his crib this afternoon, and he is, as I type this, "sleeping" in it for the first naptime!
He stayed over at my parents' house last night, and my mom called this morning to tell me he'd climbed out of the Pack & Play. I knew it was coming, just not today!
Jamie and I are both off work today, because of my biopsy yesterday (more on that later) so it was a good time anyway.
At first, he was worried that his crib was broken, but he seems to have adjusted so far... I've checked on him a couple of times, and he isn't asleep, but he hasn't gotten up yet either, so that's score one for the Big Boy Bed!
We'll see how it goes at bedtime...

The Cutest Boy

2011-05-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

To put it mildly, I was not popular in high school. I had a few friends at school, girls to eat lunch with, but no one was clamoring for my attentions.

Early on, during my freshman and sophomore years, I spent a lot of time babysitting, and I eventually got a "real job" (read: shovelling popcorn at the local cineplex) so I filled my time with a lot of other things; I wasn't active in a lot of school activities that happened outside of school hours; I did yearbook, band and chorus, but after 2:40, my time was taken up with other things.

A significant portion of those "other things" involved my home church and diocesean events; our diocese covered basically the entire Bay Area, from San Jose to Marin, so I was making friends from all of those places, in my time outside of the school day.
And naturally, as teenaged girls are wont to do, I had A Crush. He was adorable and funny and everyone at camp liked him and wanted to be his friend. And everyone was his friend! He could make you laugh and give the sweetest hugs, but he didn't just save them for certain people; he gave them freely. He had a couple of buddies, and they were always around. Nice enough guys, but I never got to know them as well as I did My Crush.
All through high school, I'd only see him every couple of months; weekend long diocesean youth events, all-day gatherings and concerts... and BREAD camp.
Standing for "Bible, Recreation, Education And Discovery", BREAD is a weeklong summer camp that's the place to be if you're a teenager in the Episcopal Diocese of California. Part theology, part traditional summer camp, all fun and amazing memories. Always, on that first day of BREAD, My Crush would make his rounds, passing out hugs and greetings of "Hi Lady!" (He was a big Animaniacs fan, I guess?) and it's a sound I can still hear in my mind now.
I'd savor that hug, since I knew it might be the only moment I'd have for the week. I'd do lots of admiring from afar, maybe end up at the same table at a meal, but that was it.
I was self-conscious and awkward, he was seemingly perfect.
And so I admired him from afar, knowing he was out of my league.
Knowing that nothing would ever come of this Crush, I even had a boyfriend at one point, my senior year, but every time my path crossed My Crush's, my heart would flip flop and he'd grin at me and I'd die a little.

But this prompt isn't about my high school daydreams. It's about where he is now.

Easy. I married him!

Eventually.

From left to right: The 2 best friends from summer camp, Dave and Austin
(now an Episcopal priest) Jamie and me, my sister Katie

A mere eight years post-high school, I snagged the ~~boy~~ man of my dreams, and married him 3 years after that. Now? We're working on our happily ever after!

This post is in response to the Mama Kat's Writers Workshop prompt,
"A boy you had a crush on...where is he now?"

Easter 2011

2011-05-03T21:14:00.001-07:00

Woo hoo for Easter! This, like so many other milestones this year, was the first time Max really "got" the whole egg hunt, Easter bunny thing, so we had a lot of fun with him!
He's also got the "stubborn boundary pushing 3 year old" thing down, so he didn't get to color eggs himself this year, since he ended up going to bed early the night we planned to do it.
Jamie and I took care of the dyeing, with the intention of having him stick stickers the next morning...
Lesson: Don't use the styrofoam egg carton for dyed eggs; they never quite dried, so the stickers didn't stick, and we tried to use Sharpie to let him decorate them further that way, but that also failed. We need to stick with the paper cartons, so the extra moisture can escape and let the eggs dry completely. I also think I want to try some of the natural dyes next year; beet juice and the like.

First thing Sunday morning, we headed to my parents' house for breakfast with everyone; the Easter Bunny had stopped by just moments before we got there, so all of the kids came out to the front porch to find their baskets!
I The Easter Bunny grabbed these Diego stickers at the grocery store on the way to my parents house; we stopped to buy some "festive bread" per my mom's request, and when I saw these, thought they'd be the perfect non-candy finishing touch for his basket!
After admiring their new loot (and covering PapaNana's living room floor in jellybeans, puzzle pieces and goldfish cracker crumbs!) we started the egg hunt. Their new backyard is excellent for egg hunting, and I can easily see this yard being useable for a bunch of years with egg hunting!Once the eggs had all been found (and all those hidden accounted for!) we went inside to turn the bounty into a family favorite, devilled eggs! Max and Faith were put on peeling duty...
Max quickly proved himself the most overzealous peeler ever...
...so he was removed from that task and Katie stepped in to help.
Max was relocated to yolk removal duty, which he did an excellent job with!
Faith was then in charge of the yolk smashing station
After breakfast, Papa brought out the helicopter, of course, and kept the 3 small people entertained until the copter battery pooped out..
then it was Jamie to the rescue with some story time!
A few quick family shots...
I seriously think I need to blow this one up:
And them we were off to the Compound for the 1st Annual Eggstravaganza Party, and we had, as always, an amazing time! Lots of kids, egg decorating, a sandbox, a beautiful day...A little Elton John channeling...
And it (as always!) ended with a major jam session! Max takes an accordian lesson from his future father-in-law, Ric.
So all in all, a very busy but super wonderful day! We're blessed to have such wonderful friends and family, and look forward to the next gatherings!

Pride in spite of myself

2011-05-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club's memoir writing project, Remembe(red). Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!

Tell the story (without any trivialization or modesty) of something in your life that you are proud of.
Word limit: 600 My count: 434

Blink. Blink.

The cursor flashes at me, the vast expanse of white a seemingly endless field.

Blink.

I flash back to Doogie Howser and Carrie Bradshaw, plunking happily away on their computers at the end of each 24-minute glimpse into their lives. They never seem to be at a loss for words, do they? Every event in their respective lives can easily be summed up on one witty sentence, even if they do type it out and then delete the last bit, and reword it. The final chuckle for the episode.

When I'm in a job interview, and am inevitably asked what I think my weaknesses are, I always have the same answer.

Slight chuckle, and a shift in my chair. Lean forward a little more, so it's like I'm sharing a big secret. "Well, it's a challenge for me if I'm not interested in a task. If it's something I'm excited to do, or that interests me, I will get it done, but if it's something I don't really want to do, I really need to buckle down and concentrate. The good part of that, though, is that I pay extra attention to detail when that happens, because I want to get it done right the first time!" Sit back in the chair (just a tad, don't want to look disinterested!) and smile sweetly.

It's true. I'm an avoider. If there's something I don't want to deal with or think about, I put it to the side; paying bills, folding laundry, some of the assorted administrative tasks at work that aren't design... I'll put them off, apparently in the hopes that the Chore Fairy will come along and take care of it for me.

But I'm doing this right now, and I'm proud of me for doing it!

When the prompt was posted, my heart broke a little that I couldn't come up with something I was really, truly proud of. That it took me this long to come up with something. That's not to say I'm not in awe of and completely overwhelmed with pride when I look at Max. And I know that I've overcome a bunch of crap with the kidney stuff, but I didn't want to use those, my "go to" issues. I was determined to be proud of something else!

And now I am.

A task I didn't care to do, this prompt, and yet here I am, at 6:27 on Tuesday morning, writing my words while waiting for the coffee machine to beep. You know, maybe this commitment to writing thing isn't the worst thing I've ever done.

Birthday Portraits

2011-05-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

I shot these before his actual birthday, but just realized last night that I never shared them here! We took Max out to Bol Park, one of Jamie's favorites from when he was a kid, and then we went to our favorite beach, San Gregorio, for some sunset photos.
Unfortunately, Max got a little carsick on the ride to San Gregorio, so he's wearing a shirt I just happened to have on hand instead of his super-handsome polo, but we had a a great time anyway!

I wish he hadn't been wearing his jacket, since it's all kind of tan, and he would
have popped better in his red and blue shirt, but oh well! I love the pic anyway!

This last one is totally not what I'd consider "my style" (if I really had one! LOL) but I
am totally in love with it! It's one of the first images I've taken that I could see myself putting
on a big canvas and hanging in my house.

The Fight

2011-04-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society.
Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated!

This week, we want fightin' words.
Write a piece about a fight. What happened? Why? Who "won"? What were the repercussions?
Word limit: 600 My count: 597

This is what happened immediately before this story, where I first introduced Sam and Jess, in my 2nd Red Writing Hood post ever. Read this, and then continue the story over there, if you like!

"Babe? I'm home!" Slamming the door shut with his foot, Sam shifts the bulging grocery sacks and drops his keys on the hallway table. "I forgot my phone here, so if you tried to call me..."

Making his way down the long hall that leads to the kitchen, he listens for the usual sounds that would greet him; Jess plunking away on her keyboard, or the murmurs of her DVR'd Oprah episodes. But he hears only silence.

Assuming she's stuck late at work, Sam steps into the kitchen and swings the groceries onto the counter, and begins putting things away.

The familiar plastic thunk of his smartphone hitting the wood of the kitchen table lets him know he's not alone. "It's right here."

He looks up with a smile, but it's quickly replaced with a look of concern, when he sees his fiancée's grim face. Her eyes are red and puffy, like she's been crying, but the look of pure fury coming from them burns straight to Sam's heart.

"What's wrong, Jess?"

"I can't believe you even have to ask me that." Her words clipped, her anger barely controlled.

"Is this a joke? I seriously have no idea what you're talking about, babe." He steps around the counter and goes to take her hand.

"Don't touch me" she hisses, ripping her hand from his. "I saw the texts on your phone. From her."

"Texts? Her who? I love you, Jess, but I'm completely lost here."

"Her. From HER!" Jess grabs the phone back off the table and and angrily presses presses buttons, pulling up the message archive. "HER." She waves the phone's tiny screen across his field of vision, and all Sam can tell is that there's a list of text messages from a single number.

"Jess, can I at least see them?" He reaches to her for the phone, trying not to cause unwanted contact that will just enrage her more. "Let me read them." He forces his voice to remain calm and even; he will not rise to her level of emotion. It's the only way they'll get through this. "Please?"

"Here. Allow me." She narrows her eyes at him and begins to read. "Hey sexy! Can't wait 4 2nite." Clicking to get to the next message. "U make so me sooooo hot. XOXO." More clicking. "Ooh baby. LOL" She levels her gaze at Sam. "It's sick, and we're DONE. You KNOW what my father did to my mom. I will NOT stand for this."

Still processing what she has just said to him, Sam is dumbstruck.

She throws something on the table, but instead of the familiar thunk of the phone, it's a delicate tinkling sound, and she storms out of the room. Sam returns to the present moment and looks down, shocked to see a ring next to his phone, the diamond winking in the sunlight.

She's gone; he hears her stomping down the front steps.

Thinking she just needs some time to cool off, he doesn't go after her, and instead reaches for his phone to read the texts himself. She was right; there are more than a dozen messages over the course of the day, getting progressively more seductive. They're all from phone number 415-570-9637. Contemplating calling back to solve this mystery of the text messages, he keeps reading, and gets to the last one. "OMG. Wrong number, sooooo sry! LMAO"

He has to laugh for a moment, but then his mind returns to Jess. "She was pissed," he tells the empty room. "I don't think she's coming back. Oh, God. I don't think she's coming back!"

Thursday #159

2011-04-28T16:46:00.001-07:00

I don't know if you can tell, but he *totally* inherited Jamie's ability to raise one eyebrow. Interestingly, it's the opposite one than what Jamie can do!

What's in a Name?

2011-04-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

This video is in response to the Mama Kat's Writers Workshop vlog prompt,
"Where did your blog name come from?"

Bumps in the Road

2011-04-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club's memoir writing project, Remembe(red). Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!

This week we want you to recall something in your life that seemed terrible at the time, but looking back, brought you something wonderful.
A positive from a negative experience.
Word limit: 600 My count: 550

Every life has its high points and low, and it's all too easy to get caught up in the "Why me?" of it all. I've been dealt my fair share of the crap side of things, but try to keep things in perspective and will maintain the belief that it all happens for a reason.

When I was 22, I got sick. Really, really sick. Six weeks in the hospital sick. Emergency rooms and plasmapheresis and blood draws and dialysis consumed all my time. I went from working two jobs, both of which I loved, and partying all weekend with friends, to coughing up blood in my hospital room, doubling my body weight in six weeks due to water retention.

But.

Now, more than ten years past, I'm thankful for those things. Seriously. I'd like to share with you the chain of events that brought me to thankful.

When I was first admitted to the hospital, I wasn't entirely clear on what my final diagnosis would be, or how they would go about fixing my ailments. All I knew was that I wasn't OK. Going to what I thought was a standard doctor's appointment to "Oh, we need to admit you NOW" and then not seeing the outdoors for six weeks was a shock to say the least. (Positive side note number one, that first hospital stay forced me to quit my pack-a-day cigarette habit. I was so busy trying not to die, I didn't even realize I wasn't smoking.)

At the end of that stay, my doctor told me that he was going to write me out of work "for a while" so I could recover fully. I was looking forward to another month of freedom before going back to work. He wrote me out for six months instead. I was a little bit thrilled and more than a little bit terrified. They couldn't hold my job for me that long; it's a small company and I'm too needed... they'd have to replace me permanently. During that six months off work, I found out that I'd need a transplant, and my leave was extended indefinitely, while I waited.

Not having to work, but feeling pretty OK most of the time, left me with quite a bit of free time, and that eventually brought me back to youth ministry. I returned to volunteering with the organization that had been so important to me in high school, the Episcopal Diocese of California.

It was while staffing a diocesan event that I reconnected with an old friend, Jane, who was in the middle of planning her wedding to another old friend, Austin. Austin's best friend is Jamie. (See where this is going?) With all of this non-working time, I spent much of that summer helping Jane with wedding planning; she and I ended up on many double dates with Austin and Jamie, and the rest, as the saying goes, is history.

Would Jamie and I have ended up together if I hadn't gotten sick? Who knows? There are some who would say what's meant to be will happen no matter what, but looking back, seeing the path my life has taken and where I've gotten thus far, I often stop and give thanks for the seemingly negative parts that have brought me here.

Thursday #158

2011-04-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

On the outside, looking in! My sweet three year old boy!
And this is the first Thursday of Max's FOURTH YEAR!

Stairs

2011-04-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club, a virtual writer's society.
Concrit is always welcomed and appreciated! This is a work of pseudo-non-fiction, in that Max really is afraid of stairs, but he isn't quite articulate enough to write this, so I did it on his behalf!

Write as non-fiction from your point of view or fiction from your character's point of view. Write a formal complaint letter to your deepest, darkest fear.
Word limit: 600 My count: 341

Dear Stairs,

You think I don't remember, but I totally do.

I might be barely three now, and I was not even two then, but I remember. It was Super Bowl Sunday, and I was just minding my own business, heading outside to see my Daddy and Papa.

You took the "heading" thing too literally, and made me fall. Right on my face!

I see you at home, all 11 of you, stacked up, looking all cushy and soft with the carpet on you, but I know better! I see you all alone, just one, painted red next to the sidewalk when Mommy and I walk to the doughnut shop. You're sneaky too, like in the middle of Nana and Papa's dining room.

You're practically everywhere I turn, and I can see you plotting against me, but you won't get me. I'm not taking ANY chances ever again!

Those big wide steps I have to climb to get to day care? I see you there, all rough and pebbly, just waiting to scrape my knees. Those open concrete ones to get to Mommy's office? Yeah, right! I'll probably fall right in between them and fall down to the lobby; I'll take the elevator, thanks.

Mommy and Daddy may try to get me to walk up and down them, but I won't fall for that... you're out to get me, and I'm not gonna let you win.

I've noticed something though... you seem to be shrinking! Every day, you're a little bit shorter, just a little less scary looking.

I'll win this battle eventually. You know it, and I know it.

You may still scare me, but I'm three now, a big boy. Big boys use the potty and don't drink from sippies and they walk on the stairs with their feet instead of their knees. That may be what Mommy and Daddy say, but I'll have to decide that on my own.

In the meantime, Stairs, we'll just agree to disagree. You stay right where you are, and I'll do what I need to pass you by.

Your power over me is limited, Stairs.

Signed,
Max

The fateful injury that created the fear of stairs. February 2010

Max's Adventure Party

2011-04-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

We decided in mid-March to do Max's birthday party at the Oakland Zoo... several of our friends/family have memberships (us included) so it's a regular hangout, with the added bonus of admission being taken care of! LOL
Because it was a "low key" close friends and family only get together, we wanted to do some fun things to make it more special, and not just another day at the zoo.

It started off simply enough...a quick search on Amazon turned up a dozen child's pith helmets for less than $9. Then Jamie spotted some binoculars on clearance at work, for about $2 a pair, then we had an idea inspired by this project from last month.
I put together little activity books for each kid, using some of the photos we took at the zoo... each photo had a little square spot for a sticker, which each child got as soon as he or she spotted the pictured animal.
Each book measures about 3.5"x3", I fit 6 per letter sized page, and made 12 books. I used Hewlett Packard "Tough Paper" I had on hand for the photos. It's water and tear resistant, making it perfect for kiddos, and I laminated the customized front cover and cardstock back cover.

We planned to bring our big wagon along to tote the ice chest and snacks and such, but we didn't just want a boring wagon. We talked about converting it into a safari jeep, with cardboard façades on the sides, but we ran out of time. Instead, I made a license plate for the back, grille and headlights for the front, and we draped a piece of giraffe-print fabric over the existing canopy. Voila! Custom safari wagon!
We got a lot of looks as we traipsed around the zoo, but significantly more of them as the day wore on and our group grew smaller... by the end, it was 3 grandparents, us three, and my friend Falynn and her son, who is just a little older than Max. I don't doubt we looked ridiculous, dragging this massive amount of stuff around with such a small band of adventurers!

The Oakland Zoo is built on a hill, with the entrance at the front and the Children's Zoo at the bottom of the hill, then back up for the Afrian animals... at the bottom of the hill is a large lawn, which is where we planned to have lunch. It took almost 2 hours to get down one side of the hill, roughly 37 times longer than it normally takes us! LOL

Everyone plopped down on the grass, and we set out the lunch fixings. We'd decided on a basic picnic, but with a twist. Instead of pre-making sandwiches for everyone, I thought it'd be easier for people to assemble their own (or disassemble, as toddlers are wont to do with sandwiches!) And instead of bread, we used tortillas. We had flour tortillas, cream cheese, a variety of lunch meat, cheddar cheese, lettuce and tomato. Everyone made their own to their own specifications, and everyone had plenty to eat and I'll probably do the roll sandwiches again in the future... SO easy!

After sandwiches, we did the required cupcakes... I have to credit my sister with these photos, since I was busy being in them!
The babies (Dash, Brooke and Lily, the youngest of the group), had to head out after lunch, but a few of us kept on... seeing the elephants is very important when you're newly three!

A few more photos, for those who care about such things!
Max and Orion– "These nocklars are broken! We can't see anything!"

Seriously... the binoculars were a HUGE hit!
Requisite family photo where Max doesn't look like he's having a great time.
If I had sponsors so I could do giveaways, I'd TOTALLY have a "caption this photo" contest for this one... as it is, feel free to caption it and I'll share my favorite(s)!
The elusive newly three year old in his semi-native habitat, with his grandma watching protectively over him. (Or, Max looking at me from the reptile room)
How pretty is my friend Falynn? Love her!

The best shot of (almost) all of the kiddos. And Jamie's mom.
"Look at the gorilla, Papa!"
Looking for the zebra page to stick his sticker.
This gibbon is PISSED he didn't get invited to our awesome party, and told us as much!
Looking at the tiger exhibit involves a lot of looking *for* the tiger.
Max's future prom date in her pith helmet.

So that was our fabulous party, and I'm looking forward to (with much trepidation) Max's next birthday party! Just 363 days to go!

Tom's Diner

2011-04-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

This was written for The Red Dress Club's memoir writing project, Remembe(red). Concrit is always welcome, and thanks for taking the time!

This week, we're borrowing a prompt from Natalie Goldberg from her amazing book on writing memoir, Old Friend from Far Away:
Goldberg offers this challenge: “Give me a memory of the color red. Do not write the word 'red' but use words that engender the color red when you hear them. For example: a ruby, a tomato, fire, blood.
Word limit: 700 My count: 431

Waiting in the wings, where I could smell the microwave-warmed apple pie and store bought brownies on the tables, I listened for the performance before mine to end. One last hitching up of my black and grey argyle tights, one more smoothing of my floral print dress, and once more wiping an imaginary smudge off my black mary jane Doc Martens, keeping my mind occupied for these last moments, trying to prevent the nervousness from taking over. I was ready to go.

Someone hands me a microphone, and I start my song. No instruments, just me, walking out from stage left, singing. "Doo do doo-doo doo do doo-doo..." I step on my mark at center stage and continue the song. "I am sitting in the morning at the diner on the corner..."

Getting through my performance with no noticeable flaws, my only disappointment is the absence of my boyfriend, Ben. He had told me that he might have to close at the video store that night, but it didn't make it any more upsetting that he wasn't there for my performance.

Part bake sale and part concert, the Dessert Show is the big choral fundraiser of the year, featuring solo and small group performances and an array of sweets and snacks. We were collecting funds to offset the cost of our upcoming tour to Las Vegas, and it would be one of the highlights of my senior year.

I emerge from backstage through a side door and slip mostly unnoticed to the back of the auditorium, smiling back at the parents of my friends who flash thumbs up and grins as I pass. I guess I did do OK, I think to myself, still proud that I had the nerve to audition in the first place, the only a capella act in the show.

Meeting up with Michelle and Julie in the back of the darkened auditorium, we stand and watch our classmates perform, waiting for the show to end. Sensing motion to the side of me, I turn to see Ben, grinning at me in the dim, his outstretched hand presenting me with an "I'm sorry I missed your performance" gift.

A single rosebud, wrapped in cellophane and tied with raffia. The largest one I'd ever seen, almost three inches from its hardy stem to the tips of the delicate petals, its fragrance sweet and familiar and gorgeous. Even in the dark, I could see its deep, rich color, the satiny petals almost glowing in the half-light.

Concerts and flowers come and go; and so do high school boyfriends, but the memory of the first rose I ever got from a boy stays with me always.